Hiroto
by darklightpen
Summary: In an alternate parallel timeline, Suwa Hiroto takes a different set of actions. What kind of ending would he end up with? [Suwa/Kakeru]
1. 1 - The Letter from the Future

"Hiroto! You are going to be late if you don't wake up soon!" A distant voice enters Suwa Hiroto's ears. What a noisy voice…

"HIROTO!"

Suwa suddenly jolts awake to the sight of his mother. Once awaken, Suwa rapidly chases his mother out of his room before she starts a long lecture about the importance of waking up early and causes him to be even more late for class.

Usually, Suwa wakes up early as he has soccer practice, but there wasn't any since today was the first day of the new school term. He needs to start adjusting back his biological clock to a non-holiday version, Suwa thought to himself.

Luckily, being a guy comes with advantages, such as being able to dress up at 1/10 of the time that girls need, if internet memes were to be believed. In about 10 minutes, Suwa was done. Carrying his bag, Suwa walks out from his room, down the staircase and finally reaching the breakfast table. His mother has already prepared the breakfast. It was the usual fare.

Checking his watch, Suwa realises that he has about 15 minutes to eat his breakfast if he wants to arrive at school on time. He quickly eats his breakfast of rice, miso soup and steam fish. In 15 minutes, Suwa manages to finish all of his breakfast.

"I'm leaving." Suwa said to his parents before walking out of the house. A letter was on the floor. It was addressed to him. Puzzled since he wasn't expecting any letter, he puts the letter into his bag. After all, he didn't have to pay any bills, water, electrical or otherwise. All letters in his house are usually addressed to his parents.

If he dilly dally anymore, he was going to be late. Throwing the thought about the letter out from his brain, Suwa takes out his bicycle and start to cycle quickly to school.

* * *

Somehow, Suwa managed to arrive slightly earlier than expected. "Well, it was better than arriving late", Suwa thought to himself. This year, he managed to end up in the same class as his friends, Hagita Saku, Takako Chino, Azusa and his crush, Takamiya Naho. Other than Naho, all of his friends had already arrived in the class.

After putting down his bag, he went over to greet his friends.

"Not early today?" asked Hagita

"There's no soccer practice today, and it seems that I overslept for the first time in a while. Ahaha. Must be the fault of the vacation period," Suwa answered.

"I see."

"Good morning, Suwa!" an overexcited voice suddenly spoke to Suwa. It was Azusa, with her usual bright and bubbly self.

"Good morning for Suwa only, but not any for me?" said Hagita

"You don't need any." answered Azusa.

"Well, I won't give you one either." said Hagita.

"Don't want one from you anyway." said Azusa.

"Good morning, Suwa. It seems that the two have started their usual argument." said Takako, who walked over to join the conversation.

"Good morning. It seems so." answered Suwa with a chuckle.

A girl rushes into the classroom. "Hi Naho!" said Azusa. The rest of them greets Naho who was panting. "It seems that she must have overslept." Suwa thought to himself.

They didn't have much time to chat more as their homeroom teacher walk in as soon as Naho entered the class. Suwa quickly returned to his place.

"Good morning class." said their homeroom teacher. The homeroom teacher was followed by a boy with black hair.

"I have an announcement to make. A transfer student will be joining us in this class. His name is Naruse Kakeru. Naruse-san is from Tokyo, and it's his first time living in Nagano."

"Good morning everyone. I'm Naruse Kakeru. Nice to meet all of you." the black-haired boy said.

Suwa thought that the new transfer student was quite the gloomy sort. His voice was rather weak, and his face lacks a smile. Maybe he missed the city? After all, Masumoto is just a small town. Being the ever-friendly sort, Suwa thought that he should make friends with this boy and show him the wonders of this place. It would be good if he could make that gloomy boy smile and laughed.

"There is an empty desk near Takamiya-san. You can take that place." the homeroom teacher continued.

After the introduction of the transfer student, their homeroom teacher continued on with the usual matters. The daily lessons soon followed. However, in Suwa brain, a plan to be friends with Kakeru was brewing.

* * *

"That's all for today." said their Mathematics teacher, thus announcing the end of their lesson. Since it was also the last class of the day, this statement from their Math teacher also meant that today's classes were over.

Just as usual, Suwa went over to Naho's table to wait for her to go home together. Of course, it was not them two alone only but also with the rest of the gang, though he wished it would be them two alone. Well, not today, since today's plan involve inviting Kakeru to join their group.

"What will be doing?" Naho asked.

"Well, we can go to my place and have some bread for lunch." Azusa answered.

Seeing Kakeru preparing to leave, Suwa called to him.

"Kakeru-kun, would you like to join us?"

"Err… Today… I…"

"Don't be shy! You can join us. Let's get along." said Suwa before putting an arm over Kakeru to prevent him from escaping.

"Yeah, Kakeru-kun, come over and have some bread." said Azusa.

"But…" said Kakeru

"We will take you exploring around Masumoto." said Suwa.

"Well, if it's only for a bit…" said Kakeru.

They end up managing to convince Kakeru to join them. Along the way, they all managed to introduce themselves.

After a while, they arrived at Azusa's family bakery. Since the weather was nice, they decided to stand and eat outside. It was only bread after all, which was rather easy to eat while standing. Azusa went into the bakery to get the bread.

"Here, it is. I got two for each person, so there's 12. There's pork buns, meat buns, curry buns, melon buns, apple cinnamon rolls and Nozawana buns." said Azusa

"Kakeru-kun, you can choose first. I recommend the Nozawana buns." said Suwa.

"Naho, how about you?" Suwa turned towards Naho.

"Anything will do." said Naho.

Well, Naho was always the considerate type. She has been such a person ever since Suwa knew her. That's part of why he had a crush on her. Though, he wishes that she could be more assertive at times.

"How about the others?" asked Suwa.

"I want the other Nozawana bun!" said Azusa.

"Don't joke. I want it too!" said Hagita

"I'll be taking the apple cinnamon." said Takako.

While Azusa and Hagita went into another long argument involving the Nozawana bun and the curry bun, Takako coolly starts eating her bread.

"I'll trade your melon bun with the curry bun." said Kakeru to Naho.

Somehow, it seems that Kakeru noticed that Naho wanted the curry bun actually. Kakeru must be a nice person, Suwa thought to himself. It was a good thing to ask Kakeru to join the group. Though, a missed opportunity. He should have taken the curry bun and offered to trade with Naho. Why didn't he think of that?

They spent the rest of their time bantering and chatting about various random topics, asking about Kakeru's former life in Tokyo. Of course, not without the usual argument between Azusa and Hagita, which prompted endless laughter and smiles from Kakeru. Of course, they also took Kakeru walking around the town. Well, just small parts of it. Masumoto City is too large for a few hours visit.

Soon, the time to part came about. Already, Azusa, Hagita and Takako had separated from them since they lived in a different part. It was just Suwa, Naho and Kakeru left.

They soon needed to part too.

"Bye Kakeru." said Suwa "Ah, Kakeru, can I call you that?" smiled Suwa sheepishly. He had dropped the honorific accidentally. Hopefully, Kakeru wasn't offended.

"Sure! Bye, see you!" said Kakeru.

"Bye!" said Naho

They parted their ways. Suwa was glad that he managed to make a new friend. He wondered if Kakeru played soccer? Maybe he could get him to join the soccer club.

It was a tiring day indeed. After showering, Suwa lay down on his bed thinking about the day's events. Kakeru was quite a fun person. Quiet at first sight maybe, but he turned out to be rather talkative. Suddenly, Suwa remembered about the letter addressed to him. He searched for the letter from his bag, and before long, he found it.

Turning around to check who the sender was, he saw something that made him rub his eyes.

Suwa Hiroto.

Was this letter from himself?

With his curiosity piqued, he swiftly opened the letter.

 _Hello, how are you? To myself 10 years in the past, please don't be alarmed and listen to what I have to say. If this letter reached you (which would be a miracle) at the correct time, today should be the day you met the new transfer student, Naruse Kakeru._

 _I want you to save Kakeru._

 _In our world, it has been 10 years since Kakeru died. For 10 years, all of us thought that his death was an accident, that he was killed by a truck while cycling in the night. However, we recently discovered that his death was actually a suicide._

 _Please befriend him, and make sure that he does not attempt to commit suicide this time in your world._

 _In short, that's the main purpose of this letter. Of course, I will furnish you with more details in the rest of the letter._

 _In this world, I am currently happily married to Naho, together with a son, living near Mt. Koubou. I bet you don't believe me at all, so I have attached a photo of us in this letter as a proof. But if you observe Naho and Kakeru over the following months, you will notice that they are meant to be together. I bet that they will have a happy future together if not for Kakeru's death._

 _If not for Kakeru death, I would never have possibly married Naho._

 _It was New Year's Eve, and Naho and Kakeru both went to the shrine. They end up having an argument. After the argument, Kakeru left Naho alone at the shrine crying. While Naho was crying at the shrine, I confessed to her. I wondered if instead of confessing to her, if I encouraged her to go find Kakeru, would he have been saved?_

 _I feel like I'm such a horrible person. It seems that I have traded Kakeru's life for a happy marriage with Naho. I want to apologise to Kakeru. Probably my life greatest regret._

 _I have attached the events up to Kakeru suicide by date at the end of the letter, please read them carefully._

 _Please support Kakeru and Naho's relationship. Make sure they end up together. It will be hard for you to see someone you love end up with another person. But, you have soccer. Please make soccer the love of your life instead._

 _If I could go back in time, I would want to see a future where Kakeru and Naho are laughing together, looking as if though they're very happy._

 _I am so unfair to you, right? Forcing you to make a decision to let go of your feelings, threatening you with Kakeru's life._

 _I hope you will follow my advice. Well, you may still have a chance with Naho though? I don't know. I wonder if you will confess on New Year's Eve?_

 _Lastly, I will let you determine how your life will be. Good luck._

 _Regards,_

 _Yourself 10 years in the future, Suwa Hiroto._

Suwa checked the rest of the pages. There was one labelled with today's date.

 _April 6_

 _Today was the day we met Kakeru. I invited him to spend time with us after school. I should not have done so. Please, do not invite Kakeru today._

There was nothing he could do about it. He had already invited Kakeru to spend time with them. He was happy to spend time with them though. What could possibly the reason behind the letter asking him not to invite Kakeru?

If anything, the letter was rather overwhelming for Suwa. Kakeru, suicide? How could that cheery, laughing boy from today end up killing himself? Notwithstanding the amount of suspension of belief he needed to have to believe this letter. It was truly a miracle that a letter from the future could have arrived in his hands.

The sacrifices that the letter requested him to make. He didn't know what he should do? Definitely, he already failed the first instruction. He wondered why though? It didn't make sense, especially since the rest of the letter asked him to befriend Kakeru. However, the request from the letter… He didn't know if he could ever undertake it.

It was a lot to digest, and he was getting sleepy. He would sleep on it. Maybe then, he will get the answer as to what to do.


	2. 2 - The Tearing Boy in the Sunset

_April 20_

 _This day, the day of the ball tournament, marks the day that Kakeru come back after two weeks of not coming to school._

* * *

It has been two weeks since Kakeru didn't come to school. Suwa wondered what had happened. It was really odd, since Kakeru just came for one day, and then missed two weeks of class. Well, today was the ball tournament, so he wouldn't really have missed out much? Then again, if he was someone who loves sports, he might be missing out on something. Kakeru's absence was in a way a respite for Suwa, since he didn't have to take into account of what the letter from the future said. Though, he was still really curious about Kakeru's absence. He should have asked for Kakeru's number.

Of course, if he would to believe the letter, Kakeru would be back today.

Since it was the ball tournament, then wasn't class today. Beyond arriving in time for the class soccer matches, Suwa didn't really have much to do for now, so he decided to just walk around the corridors.

"Suwa!" said a familiar voice. Looking around, Suwa saw his homeroom teacher calling him. Wondering what it is, Suwa caught sight of a familiar black-haired boy that he hasn't seen in 2 weeks. Kakeru was back. It seems that the letter was correct.

"Yes, sir?" said Suwa to his homeroom teacher.

"Would you mind showing Kakeru where the first-aid tent is? Since he wasn't here for the last two weeks, I thought of making him be part of the first-aid team."

"Sure."

Kakeru then followed Suwa as they walked towards the first-aid tent. It was awkward, since there was a silence between both of them.

"Good morning." both of them said at the same time. They started laughing at this awkward attempt to start a conversation.

"Long time no see. What have you been doing this two weeks?" said Suwa

"Slacking off."

"What? HAHAHA." The ridiculousness of Kakeru's answer. Was it an attempt to make a joke? Or was he hiding something? Or maybe an attempt to use the joke to cover. Suwa was really curious, but he couldn't really do much about it. They were just… one-day friends?

In order to avoid another silence, Suwa then continued by asking for Kakeru's number, since he didn't have it. Kakeru promptly gave his number to him.

"So, what sport are you participating in?" asked Kakeru

"Soccer. I'm from the soccer club after all."

"What position do you play?"

"I'm the forward. I score such good goals then I am called Messi of Masumoto."

Kakeru started laughing hysterically. "Aren't you ashamed of making such a shameless statement?"

"Anything to make your gloomy face smile," said Suwa. It seems that his joke managed to a smile to Kakeru's original gloomy face. His face today was worse than the first time he had seen him.

"Thanks."

Continuing the conversation, Suwa learned that Kakeru used to play soccer at his old school in Tokyo. The conversation went in a direction whereby Suwa and Kakeru chat about soccer. Their random conversation ended when they arrived at the first-aid tent.

"Good luck for the soccer match later." said Kakeru

"Thanks. Make sure you come and watch."

"Haha. Will definitely be there."

Kakeru was quite a nice person to talk to. And he enjoys soccer too. Hagita didn't really like soccer, so he couldn't talk about soccer with him. But he could talk about soccer with Kakeru.

* * *

The sports festival was over. Their class managed to win the soccer match. Naho too. She was a substitute batter, but she managed to score a home run for the softball match. It was really tiring, and Suwa was planning to go home.

As he was walking past the field, he saw Kakeru treating Naho's leg. It seems she hurt her leg. Was it while playing softball? Or before? Kakeru and Naho were chatting happily. Suwa felt a pang of jealousy at the sight of both of them being together. It seems that it might be true when the letter said Naho and Kakeru were meant to be together.

He needs to support them. He was hesitant over this two weeks, but talking to Kakeru this morning, he was somehow sure that Kakeru was a good person. Kakeru would treat Naho really well. Well, it might be too early to make such a judgement. Whatever makes Naho happy, he guesses. If being with Kakeru makes her happy, he would support it.

Suwa decided to go home. As he was walking home, he received a message.

"Great game today, Suwa. Maybe Messi ofMasumoto was not a joke after all HAHA." Suwa smiled after reading this message. Such a nice person. He couldn't possibly hate this person, could he?

* * *

 _April 23_

 _Today is the day of the soccer try-outs. Make sure you bring him to the soccer try-outs and make him join the soccer club. You should not encounter much problem today though. Kakeru will be hesitant but you should be able to drag him._

 _After the try-outs, the seniors will tell you that they want him in the club. Obviously, since he is talented. But Kakeru will refuse. You must make sure he joins, no matter what. He will agree to be a temporary member._

* * *

"Ka-ke-ru!" said Suwa from behind of him. "You're free today, right? Come and join the soccer club try-outs."

"What? Why?" said Kakeru.

"You used to play in a soccer club, no? Anyway, a little bird told me that you said that you were better than me in soccer."

"Naho! Don't simply spread rumours."

"Too late, you're coming with me, Kakeru."

Suwa playfully drags Kakeru out of the class. Though, Kakeru was not really putting any strength in resisting. Ever since Suwa learned about Kakeru liking soccer, they have sometimes exchanged messages about soccer, discussing certain matches. Suwa had actually already told him about the soccer try-outs. Though every time he brought up the topic, Kakeru would attempt to avoid it. But, Suwa was sure that Kakeru was interested in joining. The fact that he was not really resisting as he dragged him might be good evidence.

Clink! Something drops on the floor. Azusa checks the floor and noticed that it was a button.

"Ah wait, someone lost a button. Is it Suwa's or Kakeru's?" suddenly Azusa asked.

Kakeru and Suwa both checked their shirts.

"Ah, it's my coat. My mother will scold me for this." said Suwa.

"I can sew it on for you." said Naho

"You, can?"

"Yeah, I have a mini sewing kit with me."

"Then when you are done, come watch us on the field." said Suwa.

"Sure." Naho smiled. Sometimes, Suwa just wondered who created this angelic girl on Earth. God, maybe?

Suwa then continues to drag Kakeru towards the field. Kakeru seemed to have resigned himself to go for the soccer try-outs.

* * *

"Kakeru, you were amazing. You managed to score a goal." said Azusa.

"Hey, I pass the ball to him, you know." said Suwa

"Well, the one who strikes the goal is cooler." said Takako.

"True." said Suwa while pouting.

"Thanks, Suwa, for the pass." said Kakeru.

"Anyway anyway, I have an important announcement to make." said Suwa

"What?" said Azusa

"Kakeru is joining the club starting tomorrow." said Suwa

"Eh? I never said that." said Kakeru.

"What? It such a waste of your talent, join us!"

"But…"

"You will be on the main team in no time. As Messi of Masumoto, I guarantee it."

"But, I can't get up in the morning. I can never join morning practice"

"Excuses! I can always call you wake up in the morning. The seniors want you to join too. You got their approval. Even as a provisional member. Join us. Please. PLEASE." said Suwa.

Everyone stared at Kakeru.

"Fine, fine. If it is just as a temporary member, I guess that's okay." said Kakeru.

"Yahoo!" said Suwa, before going on to hug Kakeru. His was really happy, for some reason. He wondered why. Maybe it was the fact that he managed to convince such a talented person to join the soccer team? Which brings to the question, why was Kakeru so opposed to joining?

"Suwa just looked as if he got his proposal accepted." said Azusa.

"Haha. It seems so." said Takako.

"Suwa!" said Naho, finally breaking her long silence.

"Yes?"

"I mend your coat. There was another button going to drop off too, so I mend it too." said Naho.

"Thanks, Naho!" said Suwa. It was followed by a laugh from someone else.

"You're such a mom." said Kakeru, before continuing to laugh.

"Yeah, and she makes her own lunch too." adds Azusa.

"Then, can you prepare lunch for me too?" asked Kakeru to Naho.

"Sure, I'll bring one tomorrow."

"Haha, I'm just kidding."

Suwa watches the banter between Kakeru and Naho. He wanted a lunch box from Naho too. But, he's too embarrassed to ask for one.

* * *

It was the next day, and somehow Kakeru didn't run away from practice. Practice was fun with Kakeru today.

The practice was over now, and he and Kakeru decided to go home together. As they were walking home, they saw Naho. 'Why was she still here?' Suwa wondered. Unfortunately, there wasn't any entries in the letter about today. Weird, he was starting to rely and believe the letter.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Kakeru." Naho shouted after rushing in front of them suddenly, before attempting to run away. However, Kakeru managed to stop her by saying he had something to talk to him with her.

"Then, I'll be leaving first." Seeing that he presence was not needed, Suwa said that.

"Nah, Suwa. Don't leave first. Wait for me. It will be quick." said Kakeru.

Naho and Kakeru walked towards the bench and sat down, before starting to talk. It was slightly serious at first. However, before long, they were laughing. Suwa was puzzled. Naho then took out a lunch box and gave to Kakeru. Oh, so she really did make lunch for him after all.

Despite Kakeru assurance just now, their talk seems to be taking quite some time. Suwa was starting to feel like he was being rude watching their talk. Maybe if he left quietly, Kakeru would not realise? Watching them, Suwa realised that what the letter said was true, that Kakeru and Naho should be together. His role was then to be a silent supporter, no?

Engrossed in their conversation, Kakeru did not notice as Suwa when home.

* * *

While on the way home, Suwa's phone suddenly rang.

"Oooi, Suwa, where the hell are you?"

"On the way home. Didn't want to disturb your date."

"What? That's wasn't a date. Where are you exactly?"

"Near Agata Forest."

"There's a park there, right? Wait for me there."

Before Suwa could refuse him, Kakeru cut the line. He tried to call back. However, Kakeru wasn't picking up. Could that be deliberate? Kakeru was turning out to be cheekier than he thought.

Resigning himself to his fate, Suwa went into the Agata Forest Park to find a bench to sit. Born and bred in Matsumoto, he had seen the forest many times. There was nothing new for him. The sakura season was just over.

He wondered what kind of person Kakeru is? At first sight, he seems to be cheerful, but if he were to believe the letter from the future, behind that façade lies a deep sadness. Not only the letter, there were other signs, such as refusing to join the soccer club even though he clearly enjoyed it. There was a hint of sadness in his constantly laughing smile, Suwa thinks. Might he be succumbing to confirmation bias due to the letter though?

Since they exchanged numbers, they have been messaging each other. Just 4 days though, but they managed to exchange quite a lot of messages. Well, most of it was debates about different soccer teams and their players, who being the best player, and who being the best club. Obviously, for him, Messi was the best player. Somehow, they didn't manage to talk about other things. He should ask him more non-soccer stuff later. What other things does he do other than soccer?

His thoughts randomly moving around many topics relating to Kakeru. Suicide, depression, Naho's and Kakeru's relationship, his friendship with Kakeru, soccer practice.

"Su-wa!"

"What? You surprised me, Kakeru."

"Good! That was the whole point."

Suwa rolled his eyes at Kakeru. This was becoming ridiculous.

"So, what? Why didn't you let me go home peacefully, hah?"

"You want the real answer or the fake answer?"

"The fake answer first."

"Because I want to torment SU-WA!"

What? Kakeru was acting like he was high…

"The real answer?"

"Not telling. I asked whether you want the real or the fake answer, not which one first."

"Good! Then, I'm leaving." Suwa started pretending to leave.

"Ooi, wait, wait, I brought something good. Ta-da."

It was the lunch box Naho gave Kakeru just now.

"The food is probably cold, since Naho meant this for lunch, but it is now nearer to dinner time. Haha. But, you are probably hungry while waiting for me. Please have some. A homemade lunch from a girl, you know."

Suwa stomach started growling. He was after all known for being a glutton. Furthermore, a lunch box from his crush. Even if it wasn't meant for him in the first place.

"Haha. Look even your stomach is growling. Let's eat. But there is only one pair of chopsticks, so we need to share."

"Sure. Unless you are worried about indirect kisses?" added Suwa as a joke. Kakeru seems to be making all the jokes so far, thus Suwa felt a need to make a joke too.

"What's that?" Kakeru responded with a bewildered face.

"Have you ever read Shoujo manga?" asked Suwa.

"Nope."

"I once read a Shoujo manga out of curiosity. That was the time I encountered the weirdest concept ever called indirect kiss. Basically, the heroine of the manga was worrying about sharing a cup with the guy she likes. It's called indirect kiss because the cup touches both their mouth."

"What? This is so ridiculous."

"Do you think girls actually worry about such thing?" asked Suwa

"Those that read too much Shoujo manga, maybe?"

"Hahahahahahaha…"

Two person eating with one pair of chopsticks only was rather annoying, since they needed to switch every they eat. Naho's cooked food was rather tasty. Suwa noticed that Kakeru was targeting the mashed potato rather often. He likes mashed potato? Or just Naho's one. Since, it was actually quite tasty. Kakeru was constantly making stupid jokes, like counting the number of times they indirectly kiss.

Still, two guys sharing a bento made by another girl. Weirdest thing to ever happened to him.

They demolished the lunch box swiftly, since they were super hungry and there were two of them.

"Done. Time to go home." said Kakeru.

"Ok. See you tomorrow then."

They stood up and pack their stuff before leaving.

"Bye, Suwa. See you tomorrow." said Kakeru. It was only then did Suwa realised that Kakeru has been holding back his tears. That was why he was being so funny. He was holding back his sadness.

"Bye." On impulse, he added: "Kakeru, next time, you don't need to hold back."

From a distance, he thought he saw tears dripping from Kakeru's eyes.


	3. 3 - A Dangerous Person

_May 1_

 _Despite joining the soccer club as a temporary member, Kakeru still didn't join the soccer club in the end as a full member. I don't know why he is so insistent about not joining the soccer club but without a doubt (and you can attest it yourself) he is definitely interested in joining the soccer club. Please convince him to join the soccer club, no matter what._

* * *

It has been one week since the soccer tryouts. Kakeru had joined the soccer club as a temporary member for the past week. It is the day when Kakeru will decide whether he would continue as a permanent club member or not. Normally, Suwa would have believed that Kakeru would join the soccer club, especially since his performance was great, and even more importantly, he enjoyed himself while in the soccer club. Suwa enjoyed having Kakeru in the soccer club too. He was a superior teammate with soccer skills that even he found hard to match.

But… One word. Letter. The letter clearly wrote that Kakeru would tell him that he would not join the club. And the events of the last few letters have given him substantial proof to believe in this letter from the future.

"Suwa! Concentrate!" shouted his soccer coach. His form today during morning practice was indeed not his best. He was worrying too much about whether Kakeru will be joining the soccer club or not.

What could he possibly do to convince Kakeru to join the club? Indeed, his feelings of wanting Kakeru to join the club was more than just following the instructions of the letter. He had started to consider Kakeru an important friend. Wishing Kakeru to be in the soccer club with him, wishing to play soccer with him, that was his genuine feelings.

Suwa wasn't the craftiest person, clearly, he was a below average craftiness human specimen. Then, tricking Kakeru to join the club would not work. He didn't have any tricks up his sleeves after all.

"Suwa." He was tapped from the back by his coach. "Any problems? You don't seem to be able to concentrate. Take a break from morning practice today."

Suwa was about to protest that he could still continue, but his coach resolutely told him to take a break from practice today. "You're just a trouble to others today." he was told.

This day was getting worse from the moment. And he still does not have any idea of how to convince Kakeru. Well, there might be an advantage to being given a break since he could try to use the extra time to think out ideas to convince Kakeru?

* * *

"Good morning, Suwa." Suwa turned back and saw that it was Kakeru.

"Good morning, Kakeru."

"How was morning practice today?"

"It was great. The Messi of Matsumoto works hard every day." Suwa lied. He didn't want to tell the truth to Kakeru. He still hasn't thought of a method to convince Kakeru. Kakeru was bound to tell him his decision soon. He hoped that the letter would be false.

"Haha. Still on with that joke, Suwa. You really like that nickname, don't you?"

"Of course, Messi is my idol. It would be great if Argentina was next to Nagano. I would go and watch him every day."

"But Messi is usually in Spain playing for Barcelona during the football season, Suwa."

"So harsh, Kakeru. Breaking my heart so early in the morning." Suwa pretended he was hurt badly, dramatizing the situation but clenching his heart with his hand. This invited a laugh from Kakeru.

They continue to walk. It was silent, despite the fact that many students were exchanging greetings in the corridor.

"Oh yeah, Suwa. I'm sorry. I can't join the soccer club after all." said Kakeru.

There it was.

Suwa stopped walking suddenly. A complex fusion of emotions filled up him. Some of it angry at the fact that Kakeru didn't want to join the club despite the fact he was talented and clearly enjoyed it. Some of it hurt at the fact that Kakeru didn't consider him important enough to join the club. Some of him sad at the fact that he wouldn't be able to play soccer with Kakeru.

He turned his head back towards Kakeru, his face contorted with all kinds of emotions.

"I won't accept that!" He shouted so loudly that some of the other students stared at them. Kakeru face was a mixture of surprise.

"Didn't you have fun? Don't you like soccer? Please! I beg you. I need you." words that Suwa wouldn't have said, some of his true feelings spread out from his mouth.

Kakeru's face was a mixture of hesitant, and guiltiness. He looked as if he didn't know what to do. It looks as if he was begging Suwa not to push him anymore.

That face was enough to stop Suwa. He was nearly going to spit out a bunch of complaints, all his emotions, words that will surely hurt Kakeru, maybe guilt trip him into joining the club. But that was not what Suwa wants. He wants Kakeru to join of his own free will. But what does Kakeru truly desire? Even at the best of times, people do not necessarily know what they really want, no?

A compromise maybe? A sudden thought rescues his helpless mind, and he sort of knows what to do.

"No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! I'm going to quit soccer if you do. Let's play soccer together." Suwa threw a tantrum in front of everyone. Sitting on the floor and slamming his hands on the floor.

It was the most embarrassing thing he ever did. It was more comical than anything. But, that was one of his best mask, the comedian. He rarely used it in such a crafty way. But, it strikes a balance between outright guilt tripping Kakeru with hurtful words and completely resigning to the fact that Kakeru would not join the club. It expressed his true feelings in a comical way. Maybe, just maybe, he hoped that his feelings would reach Kakeru.

"I'll join. OK, Suwa?" It was genuine, slightly helpless, but not in a trapped way, instead more of a resignation kind of smile that greeted him.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Yes! I'll go and submit your club application form now! See you in class, ok?" Without waiting for Kakeru's reply, he rushed towards the office.

"Don't forget your promise to wake me up in the morning."

He was filled with unspeakable happiness the moment that Kakeru replied him with a yes. All the anger, sadness disappeared. Suwa didn't know why. But, it was quite dangerous indeed, this person who could swing his emotions with a few words.


	4. 4 - From Old Love to New Love?

_May 2_

 _Today, Ueda-senpai confessed to Kakeru. He started going out with Ueda-senpai. Kakeru clearly does not like Ueda-senpai, and they break up after a month. However, after Kakeru accepted Ueda-senpai's confession, I saw Naho's face. Her feelings for Kakeru was clear as crystal. At this point, I do not know if Kakeru likes Naho, but he definitely treats her in a different way from other girls._

 _So, for today, please stop Kakeru from going out with Ueda-senpai._

* * *

"Kakeru, do you know Ueda-senpai?" asked Suwa. The morning soccer practice just finished. It was Kakeru's first day as an official club member and they were walking towards the classrooms.

"Ueda-senpai? Ah, you mean that hot senpai who always watches us at the field during soccer practice. Why? You've fallen for her, Suwa?" said Kakeru.

"No, no, no. What you're talking about?"

"Wow wow. Calm down, Suwa. Just pulling your leg."

Suwa glared at Kakeru, who did not look a single bit apologetic. Suwa wondered what kind of person he had ended up befriending.

"Say… if she ends up confessing to you, what will you do?" asked Suwa.

"Already expecting a confession, I see."

Kakeru received another glare from Suwa.

"Hahaha. Well, I'll say yes, since she has a pretty face." said Kakeru.

"Hmm. I didn't expect you to be so shallow, Kakeru."

"Ouch! Suwa's mouth so sharp."

Suwa sent another glare towards Kakeru.

"So, why did you ask me this question?"

"Just curious."

"Bet you like Ueda-senpai."

"Don't spout rubbish, Kakeru."

"Suwa likes Ueda-senpai." shouted Kakeru.

"Can you shut up, Kakeru?"

"Don't want. Don't want. Everyone! Suwa likes Ueda-senpai."

"Hey!" Suwa attempts to shut Kakeru's mouth with his hands, but Kakeru proves to be swifter than he thought.

They ended up running towards the classroom, where Suwa's reputation ends up in tatters. 'What a mess.' Suwa thought to himself. Somehow, he hopes that Kakeru wasn't serious about saying yes to Ueda-senpai. Because he was completely sure that Ueda-senpai will confess to Kakeru today. The letter hasn't been proven wrong yet.

* * *

"Suwa, go buy me some juice." said Azusa.

"Buy it yourself." answered Suwa.

"It will only take you a couple steps to get it. You're nearer to the classroom door than me." said Azusa.

"I want some too." Takako added.

This was soon joined by Hagita and Kakeru.

"What? This is unfair. Let's decide by rock, paper and scissors." said Suwa.

The matched ended with Kakeru having to buy the juices. Great, serve him right for that commotion that he caused this morning.

"Naho, what do you want?" asked Kakeru.

"Oh… Um… I'm fine." said Naho

"Really? You're not thirsty after gym?"

"Umm… Anything is fine."

"Really? Even red bean soup?"

Naho looked as if she was caught cheating in exam. Which is to say, extremely flustered.

"Just 'Anything' only is not fine, ok?" said Kakeru.

"Orange juice then…" answered Naho.

"Got it!" said Kakeru with a smile. He then proceeds towards the vending machine.

Seeing the interaction of Naho and Kakeru, Suwa ended up smiling too. Somehow, it wasn't as painful as before. He wonders if his heart had secretly and slowly let go of the crush he had since his middle school?

When he first read the letter from the future, it was hard for him to let go his love for Naho. But, being friends with Kakeru, he knows that if he ended up letting Kakeru die, he would wallow in sadness and self-blame for a long time. Maybe if he did not have the knowledge of the letter, it would be possible to let go of Kakeru's death (if that happened). But, with the knowledge of the letter, this was not possible. Thus, he ended up with the conclusion of letting go his love for Naho. Maybe, logical conclusions of the mind can change one's feelings?

"Look at Kakeru. Carrying those drinks." said Azusa suddenly. She was standing at the window.

Suwa went to the window. Haha, it was funny to see Kakeru attempting to balance all six different drinks. If it was all cans, it might have been easier for him. But they ordered different drinks with different packaging. Ah, it seems that Kakeru dropped the coke.

"You're ok with carrying all the drinks?" asked Azusa.

"Sorry that I dropped the coke. But, no problem." said Kakeru.

They continue to watch Kakeru efforts to carry the drinks. It was definitely heavy

Suddenly, Kakeru stopped. It seems that someone was calling him. Poor him. Stopped by someone while having to carry those drinks.

It turned out to be Ueda-senpai. Kakeru and Ueda-senpai ended up talking, but they couldn't hear them from the classroom as they were mostly whispering, plus the fact that the classroom was on the second floor. Without shouting, it would not be possible.

"Looks like a confession." said Azusa.

"Ah, Suwa gonna be jealous." said Takako.

"Hey, I told you that nonsense was all Kakeru's fault." said Suwa.

"I gonna ask him later." said Azusa

Well, it was definitely the confession. He just missed the thing he was trying to prevent. He should have bought the drinks for everyone instead of coming up with the rock, paper, scissors game. If only he knew.

When Kakeru came back to the class, Azusa excitedly asked him "Was that a confession?"

"Yeah. Su-Wa aren't you jealous?" said Kakeru.

"Hey, your joke is long expired." retorted Suwa.

"How unfair. To be confessed by a beauty." said Hagita.

"You have your Azusa." said Suwa and Kakeru at the same time.

"What?" answered Hagita and Azusa at the same time.

"You two are just proving their point." added Takako. All of them started laughing, except Hagita and Azusa who was glaring at them.

"So, what was your answer to Ueda-senpai?" asked Azusa.

"Trying to change the subject, eh?" said Takako.

"I told her that I would let her know during the next break time." answered Kakeru to no one in particular, since Azusa was busy chasing Takako.

But, two persons were noting that down. Suwa wondered if there is a way to stop Kakeru from accepting the confession of Ueda-senpai.

* * *

"Suwa, I have something to talk with you about." said Kakeru when class ended.

"Ok, I have something to say too." Suwa quietly pumped his fist. He was looking for a way to talk to Kakeru about Ueda-senpai's confession too.

They walked out of the classroom towards a quiet part of the corridor.

"So, what did you want to say?" asked Suwa.

"Ok, this is serious. Do you like Ueda-senpai?" asked Kakeru.

"No, I don't." answered Suwa. That was a surprising question.

"I see. Ok. How about you? What did you want to say?" said Kakeru.

"Don't accept Ueda-senpai's confession." Suwa decided to just say it. He couldn't think of any tricks, after all.

"Why not?"

"You don't like her, do you? You just like her face. Her personality doesn't suit you."

"How do you know that? You know her that well? Or what? Just gossips? Actually, did you know that she was going to confess to me? That's why you say all that and asked me weird questions in the morning."

"… … No… I… didn't know." answered Suwa.

But the damage was done. From Kakeru's face, it was clear that Kakeru knew that he was lying.

"I see. Then, I have a cleaning duty to do. You go eat lunch first." said Kakeru before leaving.

Suwa didn't know what to do. He failed today.

* * *

Suwa ran back to the classroom after he finished his lunch. Blame his hungry stomach. But, in his heart, he knew he was too late to stop Kakeru. Kakeru must have answered the confession.

"Ah, Suwa! Kakeru just accepted Ueda-senpai's confession. They are going out! Aren't they cute?"" said Azusa.

"What's with that face, Suwa? Don't tell me you like Ueda-senpai for real?" asked Takako.

"Hahahaha. No, such thing. Just a bit tired." answered Suwa.

"I'm going home." said Naho suddenly before rushing out.

The news might have hurt Naho too. Naho likes Kakeru, after all. Well, if the letter was to be believed. But her reaction is probably indicative enough.

He might just as well comfort Naho. Even though, he didn't manage to stop Kakeru and Ueda-senpai from going out.

He chased Naho to the corridor.

"You okay?" asked Suwa.

"I'm fine…" answered Naho. However, she didn't turn to look at him. She was clearly not fine.

"You're not. You like Kakeru, don't you?" He held her hand as he asked the question.

Naho turned and faced him. Her face answered everything.

For some reason, Suwa's head was seething with anger. At Kakeru.

* * *

It has been two weeks since the day when Kakeru started going out with Ueda-senpai. The Golden Week holiday started the next day, so he wasn't able to meet him as they didn't have school. All Suwa could do was message Kakeru, which was ignored by him for the first few days. After that, the replies resumed, but it was mostly short. Ostensibly, it was due to the fact that he was out with Ueda-senpai, so he couldn't really reply the message, but Suwa suspected that Kakeru was angry with him actually.

He didn't make much of an effort anyway, as during those first few days he was also partially angry with Kakeru. He expected Kakeru to be a much better person. Going out with Ueda-senpai just because of her face. That was really shallow of him. There were other things too. He thought Kakeru would treat Naho well, instead Kakeru just decided to go out with Ueda-senpai, without thinking of Naho feelings. He should have realised Naho's feelings for him, as she even made lunch for him often. During those few days, he was just angry with Kakeru.

He couldn't stay that way for so long though. Even his brain started to defend Kakeru, suggesting that Kakeru might have been rather dense about people's feelings. He was in the wrong too, so he didn't really have the right to be angry. He ended up having his holiday occupied with all these thoughts, which made him really tired. In the end, he decided that he might just as well attempt to make-up with Kakeru, and wait for him to break-up with Ueda-senpai.

The first day after the Golden Week holiday, he decided to do morning wake-up call for Kakeru as usual. As usual, he was greeted with the sleepy Kakeru voice. He was glad that Kakeru didn't tell him to stop with the morning calls. Meeting him at school for the morning practice, he tried to start a conversation, but it was awkward. Kakeru's usual teasing and pulling his leg wasn't there. He never knew he would start missing being "bullied" by Kakeru.

They didn't have much chance to talk to each other, since Ueda-senpai would appear and drag Kakeru away whenever it was break time. Every time that happened, he would see Naho's face falling. That went on for two weeks.

With his friendship with Kakeru in tatters, it would be impossible for him to help Naho and Kakeru get closer. So, first, he needed to repair it, Suwa thought to himself. Suwa judge that two weeks should have been long enough for Kakeru's anger to subside. Kakeru was already responding slightly positively to him. Of course, it wasn't as good as before.

So, today, he decided that he needed to apologise to Kakeru. He needed to do that before Ueda-senpai catches Kakeru. Just after the soccer morning practice finished, Suwa approached Kakeru and told him that he had something to say and to meet him outside the changing room.

"So, what do you want to say, Suwa?" asked Kakeru.

"I'm sorry, Kakeru." said Suwa.

"For what? I don't remember you doing anything wrong."

The coldness in the conversation was creeping in. It seems Kakeru was determined to sweep what has happened under the carpet. It has been like this for two weeks. But, Suwa was determined. Without properly clearing this, their friendship will just be a farce.

"Lying to you about Ueda-senpai confession. I knew that she was going to confess to you."

There was a silence for a while.

"You're forgiven, Suwa." Kakeru said that with a smile that Suwa has not seen for the last two weeks. A genuine one.

Suwa smiled too.

"Hey, Suwa. I'm sorry too."

"Why?" Suwa was surprised by this sudden apology. This was not what he was expecting.

"For being a passive-aggressive jerk towards you. For not hearing your advice about not dating Ueda-senpai. For… well, everything."

"What even… Why are you even apologising for these… You're weren't wrong. I was for lying to you. I deserved that."

"Haha. Suwa, you're really the kindest. I don't even know what luck I have for having you as my friend."

"You're embarrassing me." Suwa cheeks were getting red. This was getting weird. He thought he would be getting a scolding, not getting an apology and a praise at the same time.

"That's your fault for being so praiseworthy."

"What… Kakeru, you are creeping me out. Who changed the cruel Kakeru who would bully me with this kind Kakeru?" The atmosphere was getting cringy by the moment, so Suwa decided it was best to crack a joke.

"Not funny, Suwa. I have always been kind."

"OMG. Kakeru's back. The self-centred one."

"Ouch! That's painful, Suwa."

"You were looking for it."

"Yeah, I was." replied Kakeru. Suwa started at Kakeru incredulously. This was a new kind of Kakeru. Sort of fragile and cute. It was probably impossible to change the mood to their usual comedic one. Not today, at least. Might as well just change the topic then.

"So…. How's your relationship with Ueda-senpai?"

"Thinking of breaking up with her."

"Really?"

"I said right, I should have listen to your advice. No. Not just thinking. I am going to break up with her. She is just so annoying, just complaining about life in Masumoto to me. How it isn't like Tokyo. And dragging me around for shopping and showing off to her friends. What am I? A trophy?"

"Woah woah, Kakeru. So aggressive all of a sudden."

"Of course. She doesn't even listen to me. I cannot talk to other girls if I am dating her? I cannot spend time with my friends? You were right about how we are not compatible. Actually, I am just curious if she asked me out so that she can tell other people how she got a handsome guy. Don't you think so?"

"Are you saying you are handsome?"

"Yes, I am."

"Someone being narcissistic."

"Then if I say that you are handsome too, would that work? I'm not narcissistic then. Just have a low standard of what is handsome."

"KAKERU!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Their friendship was back to the usual self. Still, Kakeru didn't ask how he knew about Ueda-senpai confession. Did he forget?

* * *

If possible, he wanted to continue their conversation. But, Ueda-senpai appeared to capture him. As usual.

"Bye, Suwa! Hear my good news later, ok?" said Kakeru before being dragged away. Good news. Suwa can't wait.

Thoug, he sorts of wonders, isn't Kakeru curious about how he knew that Ueda-senpai was going to confess to him? Or did he just forget to ask him?

"Guys! I broke up with Ueda-senpai!" said Kakeru during break time.

"Great! I missed you… Ueda-senpai has always been dragging you away." said Azusa

"Good riddance to her." said Takako

"Kakeru. We can be friends again." said Hagita with a serious tone.

"You were just jealous that Kakeru can attract good looking girls, no?" said Azusa to Hagita.

"No, such thing. I can do that too." replied Hagita.

"The only one you can attract is probably Azusa." said Takako.

"Are you saying I am not pretty, Takako?" said Azusa

"Yes, she is." said Hagita.

"Why are you taking her side? You realised that she was dissing you too?" said Azusa.

Their comedic argument was interrupted by Kakeru's laughter. "Hahaha… This is so funny. Guys, I really missed this. Ahahahaha… I can't stop…"

"Actually, weren't you all supporting Kakeru to date Ueda-senpai?" asked Suwa.

"I did not." said Hagita.

"Nobody asked you, Hagita." said Azusa. "I was at first. But then she started dragging Kakeru from us all the time. I missed you, Kakeru. We should hang out more."

"When I realised she was a bitch, then…" added Takako.

"Well, congratulations, Kakeru." said Suwa.

"Yeap, good job." said Azusa, Takako and Hagita together.

Suwa noticed that Naho have not said a word though. "Naho, any words?"

"Well, I guess it's good since you are happier, Kakeru." said Naho. Honestly though, Naho looked even happier from Suwa's point of view.

"I am, thanks." said Kakeru.

"Yeah! We should celebrate. Should we get bread from my house?" said Azusa.

Everyone nodded and said yes.

"This is so damn weird. Everyone here is celebrating my break-up." said Kakeru.

"Well, we didn't like her. Neither did you, right? We noticed how you looked depressed whenever the break time comes." said Takako.

"Yeah! How can a girlfriend that likes to separate her boyfriend from his friends be ever good? That is a recipe for manipulation." said Azusa.

"We could celebrate the fact that we are all single." added Hagita.

The scene soon settle into the usual chaos, whereby Hagita and Azusa argued, Takako occasionally added fire to their argument, while the rest laughed at the sight.

* * *

It was about 10 in the night when Suwa suddenly received a text message. These days he could guess who it might be. His exchanges of messages with Kakeru has been increasing since he first knew him, albeit the huge drop in volume during the last two weeks.

True enough, it was Kakeru. Unlike the usual though, it was particularly long.

 _Thanks for everything, Suwa. I was really happy when you spoke to me today morning. Without that, I would just have been stuck in limbo, worrying about my friendship with you, and with the others. I wouldn't have chosen to break-up with Ueda-senpai so soon. It would probably drag on for a month or two, this problematic relationship. You were the catalyst that push me to end it._

 _The talk with Naho went well. I apologise to her, as I should of course. Ueda-senpai was bullying her, and she being such a kind soul, was avoiding me out of respect for Ueda-senpai. It was all because of me, of course. Somehow, I managed to get to make lunch for me again. HAHA. I think I should buy something for her as a gift. Would you mind following me to get her a gift?_

 _Anyways, thanks once again._

Suwa was glad that his friendship with Kakeru seems to be back to normal. After they had their bread celebration, Kakeru went to talk with Naho privately. So, it seems that they were back to normal? Their relationship was improving. He wondered when Naho and Kakeru might start dating?

* * *

At Kakeru's room, a sound tells Kakeru that he had just received a message. Kakeru checked the message, and smiled lightly.

 _Sure, Kakeru. How about next Sunday? And, you're welcome, Kakeru._


	5. 5 - The Teddy Bear in the Room

It was 9.45 in the morning. Honestly, Suwa doesn't even understand why Kakeru wanted to meet him so early in the morning. Kakeru could have chosen a more civilised time to meet up, like 2.00 pm, for example. Then, he could have more sleep. It was a Saturday too.

Well, he couldn't 100% blame Kakeru too. The time they were supposed to meet up was actually 10.00 am, so he was technically early. Which means he could have 15 minutes more sleep. Not a lot of course. But, he was actually excited to meet up with Kakeru. Beyond a few times of group outing after school, and some walks back home, he had actually never gone out to have fun with Kakeru. Shoot, he was mixing up the aim of today's outing. Today, they were supposed to choose a gift for Naho.

"Su-Wa!" a voice from behind shocked him out of his thoughts. Obviously, it was Kakeru. It should have got used to Kakeru's way of scaring him every time they meet. School. Soccer practice. Going home. Break time. Lunch. And many more.

"Morning, Kakeru. Stop shocking me."

"A shocked Suwa is the cutest."

"What…" Suwa gave Kakeru a 'that is not funny at all' face which just made Kakeru smiled even more.

"So what's the plan? Nawate street? Or Nakamachi street?" asked Suwa

"Nawate street? I want to try the taiyaki." said Kakeru.

"I thought we were looking for a gift?"

"But the taiyaki is famous and I haven't tried it before. It's being like two months since I came to Matsumoto, and I haven't tried the famous taiyaki."

"Now now. Stop throwing a tantrum."

Kakeru made a big show of pouting. Suwa ended up laughing.

"Ok ok. I give up. Let's get taiyaki." Really, this boy is really a handful to manage.

Kakeru started to walk to Nawate street from the bridge. Kakeru was wearing casual clothes, something that he had never seen before. The clothes were really matching and suited Kakeru really well. Kakeru have really good taste. Suwa started to check what he was wearing. He hoped it look good, he just grabbed random clothes today. Urgh. He accidentally chose the same colour for both his pants and shirt. That looked horrible. How was he going to stand next to Kakeru?

"Suwa?" said Kakeru suddenly.

"What?" Suwa was surprised for the second time in a day. Actually, why was he even observing Kakeru's clothes in the first place? This is not even a date. What? Where are his thoughts going? Suwa rapidly repeated the words "no thoughts" under his breath.

"Suwa? Distracted so early in the morning?" said Kakeru.

"No! No such thing." said Suwa.

"Want a kiss to wake you up?"

Usually, he would have glared at Kakeru. However, courtesy of the thoughts just now, Suwa instead started blushing.

"Hey, Suwa. Where's your retort? I'm getting embarrassed here."

"Your fault."

An awkward silence hangs in the air. 'Better reach the taiyaki shop faster', Suwa thought to himself.

Due to their quick steps courtesy of the lack of conversation, they reached the taiyaki shop faster than expected. Despite the morning, there was already a long queue. That was to be expected. It was a famous shop.

"Kakeru, what do you have in mind for Naho's gift?" said Suwa while standing in the queue next to Kakeru. He thought that it might be a good idea to start a new topic.

"Some accessories, maybe? Earrings, but that might be too much. I'm not her boyfriend after all. Then, a hairpin?" said Kakeru.

"Hairpin..." Suwa imagined a Naho with a hairpin. "It might suit her. She never wears a hairpin, so she might look good?"

Kakeru seems to be imagining a Naho with a hairpin too. "Yeah, I think she will look good in it."

"When are you going to start dating Naho?" said Suwa.

"What are you saying suddenly?"

"You're sure you're not in love with her, with those glassy eyes that you have just now while imagining her?"

"No! I'm not." Kakeru was not particularly convincing as he was starting to blush.

"Sure?"

"Well, I'm not dating a new girl so fast after I just broke up with another. I don't want you to call me shallow and playboy."

"Well, you already shallow for choosing to date a girl based on her looks. Adding another playboy title wouldn't hurt much to your reputation."

"Suwa calling me a playboy will hurt me…"

"Stop acting, Kakeru. Not funny."

"Hahaha. Don't be so serious, Suwa." Suwa decided that a glare would suit Kakeru very well. He wished that he had another face so that could be permanently glaring just for Kakeru. How many times had he glared at Kakeru today?

"Suwa is hurting my heart." Looks like a glare is not enough. He might need to ignore this idiotic boy completely.

"Suwa. Suwa. Suwa." said Kakeru while constantly pulling Suwa's arm. Suwa was trying his best to ignore him.

"The taiyaki. I'll treat you. Stop ignoring me." A pitiful sounding Kakeru begged Suwa. Still, it seems that he got a free food after all. Worth it to ignore Kakeru just now.

"Really?"

"Nope." Suwa decided to go back to ignoring Kakeru.

"Just joking, Suwa."

"Not believing you."

* * *

Suwa and Kakeru decided to start looking for a hairpin for Naho after finishing their taiyaki. They both got a red bean paste one. Kakeru ended up paying for both of them, after Suwa threaten to go home. Still, two boys looking for girl hair accessories remains quite an odd activity for both of them to be doing.

Along Nawate Street, they found a hair accessory shop located on a nondescript alley. Surprisingly, it consists of a rather good collection of hairpins. Or maybe, because it was located in a nondescript alley, its stock of good hairpins has not been all bought by shoppers.

"Butterfly design, or flower?" asked Kakeru.

"Don't know. It's your gift."

"Then, you think Naho will look better in which one?"

Suwa thought for a while, before deciding that he could not decide. "Why don't you ask the shop owner for her opinion?"

"Ok."

In the end, they went with the flower design, as it was a colour that suited Naho's hair better, at least according to the shop owner.

"Ok, so we are parting now?"

"Eh, Suwa. Let's have fun. We never really went out together before, right?"

Suwa thought about it for a while. He had an idea.

"This was not in the original plan. I do not agree. Unless…"

"Unless?"

"Treat me lunch."

"Treat you lunch? I guess… Sure. But… I just bought an expensive hairpin too. I wonder if I have enough money."

"Hahaha. You're so desperate to have me that you will treat me lunch. Just kidding. I'll hang out with you. For free."

"What... You're just pulling my leg."

"Payback for just now."

"But I treated you to taiyaki."

"And all the other times."

"Fine."

It was nearly lunch time by then, so they started exploring cafes and restaurants around Nawate street and also Nakamichi street. In the end, they decided on a pizza place, as it seemed cheap and the portions looked big.

"So hot!" said Kakeru while fanning himself with the menu.

"Hey, put down that menu. So unsightly. It's not for fanning." said Suwa.

"Suwa is such a nag." Though, Kakeru still ended up putting down the menu.

"So, how about Margherita?" asked Suwa while looking through the menu.

"You like plain and simple style pizza?"

"Yup."

"Well, I prefer one a complicated one. Like this one: Seafood Deluxe." Suwa read the description pointed out by Kakeru. 'Consists of prawns, crabs, squids, clams, oysters. Also consists of a smattering of Shirasu on top. With, of course, the usual cheese and tomato base.'

"Sounds too complicated."

"Well, I like seafood though. Maybe we could order two smaller size pizzas, instead of a large one? You can try my complicated style while I try your simple style. Haha." They originally planned to order one pizza to share, but Kakeru's suggestion seems reasonable. They called the waiter and ordered the two pizzas.

"So, are you going to ask Naho out while giving her the hairclip?" Suwa was attempting to subtly (or not so subtle) couple up both of them, since Naho was the type who will not really move, while Kakeru himself seems to be of the same passive type. After the Ueda-senpai fiasco, everyone save Kakeru was aware of Naho's feelings for him. Whereas for Kakeru, he seemed to generally enjoy being with Naho. So, Suwa felt this was the right time to further push both of their relationship to a new phase.

"You know, Naho is a really nice and kind girl, and I enjoy being with her as a friend. She makes a good lunch, hehe. But, I'm not sure about whether I really like her in that way, and well, I guess my experience with Ueda-senpai made me a little more serious about relationships. I am not going to rush into another relationship so fast." Surprisingly, Kakeru answered seriously. Suwa was expecting him to deny or roundaboutly change the topic, like just now. He could only say "I see.", after Kakeru's serious speech.

"I guess, I will be thinking seriously about whether I liked her in a way that I would want to go out with her. I don't want to give her the wrong signals. Should I ask her to stop making me lunch? Even though, it was really tasty haha." said Kakeru.

"Well, you better treat her well, or I am going to bash you up as a friend of Naho."

"You really care for Naho, don't you?" Kakeru's question surprised Suwa. The truth is of course that he like Naho. Since middle school. Though, the question of crushes and feelings is a complicated one of course. Recently, he had been wondering if he still likes Naho. It would be best if he had let go of these feelings, because Naho would end up with Kakeru. The letter was clear about it.

"Well, she is a friend that I know since middle school." He decided to go with an uncontroversial white lie.

"I see." Did Kakeru saw through his white lie? Probably not, since he did not pursue further the question. The pizza arrived and they started to eat. Suwa saw this as an opportunity to change the topic from this dangerous one which may reveal his crush on Naho.

"So, where are we going next? Any plans, since you were the one who wanted to hang out? said Suwa.

"I don't know actually. Just wanted to hang out. I guess we could do what most people do, visit the shopping mall?"

"PARCO?"

"Sure."

After finishing a slice of his Margherita pizza, he decided to try the Seafood Deluxe pizza. Just one bite of the pizza and he started to regret eating it. He remembered why he never particularly liked seafood. The marine smell, and the soft chewiness of invertebrate sea creatures. Ergh.

"You're ok, Suwa?"

"Just this pizza. Not really to my taste. I don't really like seafood after all."

"Well, then just throw away this piece. I'll eat the rest of the pizza."

"Nah. It's not good to waste food. I will finish this piece at least." Suwa continued to bite the pizza in small pieces. It was difficult.

"Haha. Suwa, you're really stubborn about certain things."

"Like what?"

"Not wasting food. About wanting the best for your friends. Football."

"Really? You think so?"

"Yep. I envy you, you know. Being stubborn about things that you think are important. But flexible and kind at times too."

"Wah wah wah. Stop praising me. What are you trying to get from me, huh?"

"Love."

"Kakeru, I just lose my appetite. You need to finish this all. And with me being a stubborn person, you are not allowed to waste a single piece of food." Suwa was already used to Kakeru random jokes by now. Playing along as the serious guy was fun in a way though.

"Sorry Suwa… I peel off the seafood for you. Please don't leave me alone to finish so much food." Kakeru pleaded with puppy eyes they were totally not apologetic.

"Since you have such cute puppy eyes, I shall forgive you."

"Yes! I always knew that these puppy eyes were useful."

Suwa rolled his eyes towards Kakeru, to no effect. They continued to joke and banter about while eating the pizza, which helped Suwa very much in forgetting the horrible taste of the seafood pizza. Kakeru seems to have no qualms about the pizza though, which made Suwa wondered about the wonders of people's taste buds.

* * *

After finishing their lunch, they went to PARCO shopping mall. They didn't have any specific plans, so they ended window shopping. While walking past a sports equipment shop, which sold everything from sports shoes to sports bags, Kakeru wanted to take a look at the soccer shoes, so they walked in.

"Your current shoes not working?"

"I don't have soccer shoes. I was using my generic sneakers for soccer practice. This one." Kakeru showed Suwa the shoes he was currently wearing.

"Weren't you a soccer player in your old school? What happened to your old shoes?"

"My mom threw it. She didn't approve of me joining sports clubs." said Kakeru nonchalantly.

"Wait, then does she know that you joined the soccer club?" Was that the reason Kakeru was refusing to join the football club last time?

There was a short pause, before Kakeru added "Well, my mom died on the first day of school. That was the reason I didn't come to school for two weeks after that."

"I see." Was that the reason why the letter said not to invite Kakeru? Suwa felt guilty about it. That day, he read through the whole of the letter from his future self, but the letter was mostly vague about the details of Kakeru's life, just indicating events that he should intervene, even though Suwa's future self probably knew much more.

"Don't blame yourself, ok? I was glad that you asked me to hang out that day. I was worried about being alone in this school, this new environment." It seems that Kakeru probably anticipated his thoughts.

"If anything, I actually blame…" Kakeru whispered.

"Eh, what did you just say?" asked Suwa.

"Ah. Nothing. Was just whispering to myself." There seems to be a sadness to Kakeru's voice but Kakeru quickly smiled. Did he just imagine it? Suwa remembered the time in the park, when Kakeru was acting happy. Maybe, did he bring out bad memories in Kakeru?

"I'll settle with this pair of shoes."

"This?" asked Suwa. Kakeru chose the cheapest pair of soccer shoes. Not that it was really cheap actually, but it was also the pair with the lowest specs. Explains partly why it is the cheapest.

"Well, ever since my mother's death, I being living off her savings and my grandmother's. My relatives do try to help up, but there's a limited amount of money. So, I try to save as much. Haha."

"Your father?"

"My mother divorced him a long time ago. We lost contact with him."

"Ah, I see. Sorry for bring up all these sad topics."

"What you're saying? You're my best friend, ok? Sharing such things, that's something that is bound to happen. But, really… I want a soccer bag too. My mom threw my old one too. Well, that's not really important. I cannot play soccer well without proper shoes, but I will be able without a soccer bag anyway." Kakeru paid for his soccer shoes at the cashier.

Kakeru was trying to put up a brave face, but he knew that he was Kakeru was actually sad. At least, that is what he thinks. Is there a way to cheer him up? Well, maybe he should bring Kakeru to…

* * *

"So… This place… An arcade?" said Kakeru.

"Been to one before?"

"No. First time here."

"Then, let the expert here introduce you to the fun things in an arcade." When he was in middle school, he would sometimes go to the arcade with his classmates or his soccer club friends. Most of the time, they would just spend time and have fun, playing games like racing Mario carts or shooting games. He even went alone once. That time, he was dejected due to the loss of a soccer match and he didn't really want to go home and instead chose to walk around the mall. He came across the arcade and randomly decided to go in and play. Playing alone, without anyone to judge his performance, playing just for the fun of it, it was fun in its own way. Since then, he would sometimes go to the arcade alone whenever he experienced sadness. He wondered if Kakeru would enjoy the arcade and cheer up too.

"First, you need to buy coins before playing at the counter. But nowadays, a card is often used instead of actual coins. Haha." They proceed to buy coins or more specifically, virtual coins in a card from the counter.

"So, what do you want to play, Kakeru? There's racing, shooting games, basketball, air hockey, dancing game and well, just look around."

"Shooting?"

"Got it." Suwa led Kakeru to a replica jeep, whereby inside, there was two guns and a screen. This was a game that Suwa played before with his friends. It involved shooting monsters and comes with an interesting story about a couple going for a holiday at an exotic tropical island. Unfortunately, their holiday was disrupted by monsters. Basically, two players play as the couple in shooting monsters.

"So, how do I shoot?"

"Press the trigger obviously."

"Oh, ok."

They game started with a ridiculous prologue whereby the couple was relaxing at the beach. Clearly, the relationship of the couple was not very good. Suddenly, they were attacked by jumping mutated fishes from the sea.

"Kakeru, start shooting."

"Shoot what?"

"The fishes, see those things jumping at the screen. Argh!" A spray of air informed Suwa that a fish just attacked him in this 4D shooting game.

Kakeru gradually learned to shoot better and better, thus the times that Suwa needed to save Kakeru reduced gradually. Suwa was thus able to defend himself better.

"Kakeru, shoot those circles. And shoot the one approaching first." They arrived at the boss stage, which was a giant spider with a little too much legs and an ability to summon smaller spiders and throw rocks. Shooting the boss require shooting its weak spots, which was helpfully marked by the game with circles.

They continued playing, moving to the next level, getting sprayed by air and even water at times, and saving each other from near defeats. Finally, they were done with it. Since this was actually a couple game, the game calculated their shooting compatibility, which was at a surprisingly high 90%.

"Oh, so the couple ended up happily ever after and planning another honeymoon." said Kakeru.

"Which they probably will face another set of monsters. You know, if the shooting compatibility was low, they will end up breaking up." said Suwa.

"Really, I want to see the breakup epilogue though." said Kakeru. "It looks like it will be funny."

"You're secretly evil, aren't you?"

"Well, since we are so compatible in terms of shooting, does that mean you are also evil?"

"No way, I am an angel. You never heard of the term opposite attracts? It is my kindness that neutralises people like you."

"Suwa, you're so shameless in praising yourself."

"I am only so shameless in front of you."

"Are you trying to make me think I am special?"

"Yes hahahahaha." They both ended up laughing hysterically.

"Come, let's play another game." said Suwa.

"Ok."

They ended up playing basketball. Not real basketball, of course, but the arcade version whereby you needed to throw basketballs into a hoop within a set limit of time. There were 3 stages, at the third stage, the hoop will move. Each of them played 3 times, which ended up with Kakeru winning. They also raced Mario karts, and this time, Suwa won.

"Anything more you want to try?" asked Suwa. They have played for nearly two hours, and it was rather tiring, since the basketball really required some serious energy.

"Well, we still have two coins, so why don't we used them up through the crane game?"

"The crane game. That thing is real cheating. How can those flimsy claws even grab anything?"

"Watch the expert." said Kakeru.

Kakeru ended up winning a teddy bear plushie through the crane game.

"Lol, what should I do with this teddy bear. Haha. Here, have it, Suwa."

"What… You're giving me a teddy bear. So weird."

"Well, this is embarrassing haha, but I used to think that it was really cool to be able to win stuff from the crane game. Impressing girls haha. So I end up practicing, spending quite some money. Eventually, I won quite a number of plushies too. Since I have so many at home, you should just take it."

"Thanks then, I guess?"

"It should be 'Thank you, Kakeru-sama.'"

"Thank you, Kakeru-sama." said Suwa in a mocking tone.

It was getting late by then, so they decide to part ways and go home. Suwa hoped that Kakeru had fun and wasn't as sad as before after playing games at the arcade. Kakeru seems to be happier. As for the teddy bear, it was odd for a guy to be giving another guy a plushie, but well, it was a gift, so he will appreciate it. Suwa always had a soft spot for soft toys, but societal pressures to look be manly meant that he always looked at soft toys in shops, but never ever ended up buying an actual one. Even more unlikely was to receive a soft toy as a gift.

"Hiroto! Dinner time." shouted his mother from downstairs. "Ok!" Suwa then proceed to go downstairs.

On Suwa's bed, a brown coloured teddy bear sat there, smiling cheerfully.


	6. 6 - The Curious Cultural Festival Night

"You know, Suwa…" said Kakeru. As usual, they have just finished their morning soccer practice.

"Yes?"

"Naho invited me to watch the fireworks on the last day of the cultural festival. Is it ok for me to go?"

"Eh? Why are you asking me?"

"Well, you like Naho, don't you?"

That question surprised Suwa. "How did you know? I never told anyone."

Kakeru chuckled mischievously. "Well, I think everyone knows, except Naho."

"Am I such an obvious person?"

"Obviously."

* * *

The cultural festival was starting in two days. Hence, there was no class as the time was dedicated to the preparation of the cultural festival. Suwa and his friends were busy doing the preparatory work.

"Hey Kakeru! Why don't you enter the Mr Contest?" said Azusa who was looking as if she just came out with a brilliant idea.

"Huh? Why?" said Kakeru.

"Kakeru is pretty handsome, no?" said Azusa.

"What are you saying?" said Kakeru.

"Maybe I should join the Mr Contest." said Hagita.

"If you enter, you will be the last place. With zero votes." said Takako.

"That's what I am aiming for." said Hagita.

"What weird aims you have. But… I think that if you took off your glasses, you would look good. Not that I mind you wearing glasses. You still look good, I think." said Azusa.

A stunned silence permeates the whole place.

"Don't flatter him. Look, he's losing it." Suwa broke the silence as it was getting awkward. This two have always some confusing chemistry between them. He wonders when they would end up together.

"Well, Suwa should enter the Mr Contest. He was confessed by the 3 managers of the soccer club." said Kakeru.

"Kakeru! Don't spill gossips."

"It's the truth, haha."

"Well, considering that Suwa is a handsome gluttonous muscular monster, that seems likely." said Azusa.

"So, what did you do?" asked Takako.

"I rejected them. I told them I have someone I liked already." said Suwa.

"Well, I see." said Azusa and Takako knowingly.

"What? Why are all looking at me like that?" said Suwa.

"Well, obviously, its Takamiya that he likes." said Hagita.

There was a shocked silence as Hagita broke the secret. An extremely surprised Naho looked at Suwa. Suwa started to blush.

"Stupid!" said Suwa to Hagita before walking off to the toilet. He needed to hide his blushing face from Naho.

"What are you saying? Are your glasses not working? How can that be true? Don't listen to his nonsense, Naho." said Azusa in an attempt to cover the truth. Or at least that is what Suwa heard from a distance. Azusa proceeded to pull Hagita away to lecture him.

Suwa breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully, Naho didn't get the truth. She was after all, always slightly dense. He went into the washroom to wash his face.

As he was just planning to return to the classroom from the toilet, Azusa and Takako stopped him.

"Yes?"

"Suwa. We're Naho allies foremost. So, we can't help you. You know, she likes Kakeru."

"It's okay. That's not my intention." said Suwa. After all, he had resolved to support Kakeru and Naho to be together.

"If Kakeru and Naho end up going out together, you would be fine?" asked Azusa.

"Yeah, I will be. I would be happy."

"Really? If you say like that, then I will expect your cooperation. It's fine by me." said Takako. She was as sharp as usual. Of course, it would be hard for him. But he would try.

"After all, I am also Naho's and Kakeru's ally." said Suwa. His friendship with Kakeru is something that he valued as much as Naho. For him now, he would go to any lengths to save Kakeru. Even if that means sacrificing the possibility of him being with the girl he likes.

* * *

July 15, the third and last day of the Azalea cultural festival. Since it was already the third day, most people have already visited their class "pool house". Hence, business was slower than usual.

"Hey Naho. Between me, Suwa and Hagita, who would you confess to?" asked Kakeru. From a distance, Suwa was able to hear their conversation. He wondered why Kakeru would be so daring to suddenly ask such a question. Still, he was definitely curious.

"Eh …?" A shocked Naho answered. Well, obviously she would be surprised. How direct could you be, Kakeru? Suwa facepalmed.

"I can't choose." answered Naho.

"Just tell me. Don't worry that I am in the example too. I won't get offended if you don't choose me, you know?" said Kakeru.

"Eh? Err…"

"Then… How about you, Kakeru? Between us three girls, who would you confess to?" asked Azusa suddenly.

"Err… I don't know. No one?" said Kakeru.

"Hahaha. We know who you would confess to." Azusa and Takako replied while laughing mischievously.

* * *

"You should have told her." said Suwa to Kakeru. It was their break time from their duty at their class "Pool House" and they were both resting in their empty classroom.

"Hah? What do you mean?"

"Say that you would confess to Naho."

"Oh. You meant that. You overheard?"

"Yeah."

"But, I don't actually like her."

"You mean you don't?"

"Well, you know, I definitely like her as her friend, but romantically? I'm not sure. How would you know you have fallen in love with someone? What your opinion on this, Suwa?"

"Eh. Hmm. Doesn't everyone have a different way of falling in love? Well, if you want to know, for me, it's the kind of feeling when you just can't stop thinking of someone, when they are around, you will start feeling nervous. Although it might be possible to control that after a while…"

"Can't stop thinking about Naho? Eh?"

"Oi, Kakeru. What are you saying?"

"Haha. Your face is red. Well, it's not even a secret already. Everyone other than Naho knows."

"Doesn't mean you should be teasing me with it. But, really, I obviously don't think of Naho day and night. After like the first few months, the frequency just reduces"

"Then, wouldn't that mean you don't like her as much anymore?"

"Well, but I still think about her sometimes, so I know that she is important to me."

"Hmm, seems reasonable, your reasoning. Actually, why are you trying to pair me up with her? When the fact is, you like her?"

"Err…" Suwa did not expect this question. Now that he thought about it, what he was doing was weird. Could he come up with something?

"I value my friends more, I guess. She likes you, you know. And if you like her, I will definitely support you two." said Suwa.

"Eh, she likes me?"

"Gosh, Kakeru. You can guess who I like but can't sense that someone likes you?"

"Well, isn't it normal to not feel so highly of yourself and think that someone likes you? I don't know? Is that a normal thing? Well, that's true for me, at least."

"Well, that's true."

"And between a love that I am not sure even exists, and a friendship I definitely value, I think I know the answer. Just look at what happened when I chose to date Ueda-senpai. I don't want to make mistakes and regret again. That's why, I'll choose to maintain the status quo."

"Wouldn't it be better to try? Nothing will change then."

"Is change always good, then?"

Suwa didn't have the answer to that question. And with that, their break ended in silence.

* * *

The day was long. Kakeru and Naho successfully watch the fireworks together, despite Ueda-senpai's effort in trying to meddle. He ended up watching the fireworks with Hagita, since they were both on "guard duty". He would rather watch with Kakeru or Naho, or both. Or with the whole group. Watching with Hagita was mildly awkward, since Hagita wasn't a person that talk much.

"Hey Suwa, you're ok?" Hagita broke the silence.

"I'm fine. What do you mean?"

"Just, don't you like Naho?"

"I think Kakeru's happiness is more important though."

"You sure he likes her? Originally, I thought that he likes her, since you and the other two girls seems just as convinced, but on closer observation, I don't think so. Even though it is not typical, I think the way he treats her is just as a friend."

"Really?" Suwa started to think. Has the future changed differently to what the letter predicted? In this future, maybe Kakeru didn't fall in love with Naho? Might have the letter from the future made him biased? For some reason, Hagita's statement seems correct. Indeed, Kakeru have been telling him he wasn't sure if he likes Naho. Suwa thought Kakeru might be just unwilling to admit his feelings, but, is it possible that he doesn't actually like Naho?

"Well, that's just my opinion."

Soon, Azusa and Takako joined them.

"Look at what we have gotten!" said Azusa.

"Yeah, it's that bitch Ueda's Ms Contest prize. She was trying to dump it on Naho to carry, but we got it now." said Takako.

"Let's drink the orange juices." said Azusa

"Great idea. By the way, why I they taking so long? The fireworks long over." said Takako.

"Could they be…?" said Azusa.

"What are you suggesting, Azusa? Something perverted?" said Hagita.

"Eh, what are you saying? You're accusing me of having a dirty mind?" replied Azusa.

"Well, it your fault for creating such a misunderstanding." said Hagita

"Oh look, Suwa. They are going at it again." said Takako.

"Haha. They sure are. But, those two are taking long, though."

As the same moment, Naho and Kakeru arrived. For some reason, Naho's eyes looks like they have been crying. Kakeru look a bit apologetic. Did anyone else notice that? Takako might have, her eyes were sharp.

"Come have some orange juice." Suwa offered some to Naho and Kakeru in an effort to avoid the others from asking them questions. Somehow, he was sure they didn't want to say out what happened. But, sure, he was curious.


	7. 7 - A Wish in a Shrine

_August 4_

 _It's the Matsumoto Summer Festival today, the MatsuBon. Don't you think that would it be a good day for a date for Kakeru and Naho? I guess you know what to do._

* * *

Somehow, he got roped into this weird "arrange a date for Naho and Kakeru" thing. Partly, it was the letter telling him to create opportunities for Naho and Kakeru because they were both so dense. The other half was probably the enthusiasm of Azusa and Takako which ended up dragging both him and Hagita into their plan.

Hagita was probably the most reluctant of them four. He told them his theory about how Kakeru isn't in love with Naho, which was summarily dismissed by Azusa. In the end, they decided to go forward with this plan, though.

Now, four of them are secretly stalking Naho and Kakeru, who were wondering where they were.

"It's time for Step 1. Suwa, please contact Kakeru, and tell him that you and Hagita are going to be late due to unforeseen circumstances. I will tell Naho that I and Takako are going to be late and that everyone else should go enjoy themselves first. Pretend that you don't know that we are going to be late and I will do the same too." said Azusa. Somehow, she was assuming the position of the leader of this plan.

"Roger, Captain Murasaka." Suwa answered.

He guessed he would send a text message. Lying over a phone call wasn't wise, he was after all, not the best liar, and he feared that Kakeru would uncover his lie.

He sent Kakeru a quick message, while Azusa was blatantly lying about how Takako couldn't decide whether or not to wear a yukata and they were stuck in her house. He was glad that Naho wasn't the brightest in detecting lies and that she was very trusting.

"That's weird, why are they not exploring the festival together but just waiting there? At this rate, the plan wouldn't work. Hmm…" said Azusa.

Indeed, Kakeru and Naho were standing there looking around. "Could it be they are suspecting that we are lying? Maybe we shouldn't be standing out here, we might get spotted."

"But, Suwa, then we wouldn't have the fun of stalking them. What if they leave while we hide?" said Azusa. Leave it to Azusa to get her priorities upside down. Suwa thought it might be better to hide still. He had a feeling that Kakeru would spot them soon.

"Stop being so stubborn Azusa. They are going to spot us soon. Come, let us go further away." said Hagita. He had been sulking since he was dragged into this plan which he thinks is a dumb idea, so it was surprising to see him speak all of a sudden.

"Oh wait, guys. It seems that the target has decided to go Nawate street." said Takako suddenly.

"Follow!" said Azusa the captain.

Nawate street was less crowded since you had to pay to walk there. However, that also meant that there was a higher chance of being spotted though.

"When did two of them go so close? Are they holding hands?" said Azusa suddenly. Suwa looked at them, sure enough, both of them are holding hands. Unexpectedly, he felt a little jealous at the sight. Didn't he already expel that sense the last time?

Naho and Kakeru were laughing animatedly. It seems they were sharing some really funny joke. Damn, he was really jealous. He wished he was there with them sharing the stupid jokes. Ah… So that was what he was jealous about. He was jealous he wasn't spending time talking to each other, instead of this weird stalking group. After all, in this group of six, those two were the people that he was closest too. Not that he isn't close with the others. But, Hagita was sulking here. Whereas Azusa and Takako are more of Naho's friend than his, to tell the truth.

It was a weird feeling. He wasn't having fun in this stalking session. And Naho and Kakeru looked like they were having the most fun time in their life. Kakeru and Naho bought and ate different kinds of food from the stalls. They ate the food at the bridge. They went to a shrine together.

"I messaged Naho, saying that we should meet at Agata Forest." said Takako.

"I'll be going to McDonalds. This is just stupid." said Hagita suddenly. Saying that, he immediately left.

"Hah? Why he is so rude?" said Azusa.

"He didn't agree with this plan in the first plan after all, Azu. Try to understand from his perspective. He still stayed with us until now though." said Takako

"Ok. As you say, Taka-chan."

"The plan was a success though. Look at how close they are." said Azusa.

They stalked both of them until they reached Agata Forest. After waiting for a while, it was time for the 'big reveal'.

"Naho, did you enjoy yourself?" said Azusa and Takako simultaneously.

"Err… Yeah? Where is Hagita though?" said Naho.

"Oh, he went to McDonald's." said Azusa.

"I see. Azusa. Takako. I have something important to say. And Kakeru has something to say to you, Suwa. Don't be too harsh on him, Kakeru, ok?"

Kakeru didn't reply but started dragging Suwa's hand.

"Ouch, Kakeru. Let go. You're hurting me."

"Hah? Hurting? Painful? How about me? Is this your idea of letting me have fun? By leaving me alone with Naho?" said Kakeru.

Suwa gulped. He knew, didn't he?

"Yeah. Like it isn't painfully obvious that you all were trying to create some alone time with Naho, time that I don't actually want or need."

"You didn't want? Like it was so obvious that you were enjoying yourselves. Laughing and talking with each other?" Maybe it was just him being defensive, but the spiteful words came out before he could stop it.

"Haha." It was a laugh that lacked a laughter. "So, you were jealous hah? If you knew you were going to be jealous, then you should have think about yourself too. Do you think you could honestly care about the welfare of others before you think of your own? Seriously, Suwa. Put yourself first too. At least sometimes. Don't try to sacrifice for someone else."

"Eh. Eh. Suwa. Are you crying? Eh?"

"No! I'm not." The denial was ineffective though, slight tears were rolling down from his cheeks. It might be the heat of the argument just now that had stimulated his tear ducts. Or the fact that Kakeru was able to realise that he didn't always want to be sacrificed for others benefit, that he was jealous.

"Urgh. What have I done? This is the second person that I have caused crying."

"Second?" Suwa wiped his tears and asked the question.

"Yeah. So, I told Naho that I didn't like her romantically, and probably will never when we watched fireworks together during the cultural festival. And yes. The main message that I was supposed to convey to you is actually this. Please don't try to create weird opportunities for us to be alone or stuff like that. Like trying to pair us up."

"And… just now at MatsuBon, we were just acting as if we were close, because…"

"Because?"

"I wanted to…"

"Want to what?"

"Make you…" Kakeru muttered the last word, and Suwa was unable to hear."

"What are you muttering?"

"Already said. Not saying it again."

"What… Tell me tell me."

"Nope."

"Ok then." Suwa started to feign walking away.

"Oi! You left me alone just now and now you are going to leave me alone again?"

"You're not planning to say it, no?"

"Fine fine. I'll say it. I wanted to make you jealous."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Your face is completely red. HAHAHAHAHAHA. What are you? A maiden in love?"

"Well, if I am, then you're my boyfriend."

They both ended up laughing non-stop.

"Oh yes. Take this."

"What is it?"

"Food from the festival. You're so busy stalking that you probably didn't have anything. I've saved some for you."

"Thanks." He didn't really expect that.

"Come, let's go."

"Go? Where?"

"To enjoy the festival together. Or whatever that's remained for it. You forget that you invited me to the festival, no?"

As the cool night breeze blows through Kakeru's jet black hair and traditional looking blue yukata, for a moment, he thought that Kakeru was the coolest person on Earth.

* * *

"I thought you went to the shrine with Naho just now."

"Well, I was so angry and frustrated just now that I didn't actually do anything. It was just Naho. Anyways, you haven't visited the shrine, no?"

"Who visits the shrine during the summer festival? It's not New Year Day, you know?"

"Haha. You're right. But since we are here anyway, we might just as well pray or wish for something."

Suwa wondered what he should wish for. He didn't have anything in particular that he wanted, actually.

"I don't know what to wish for…"

"Well, if you don't have anything to wish for, then you can double the power of my wish. Just say I wish that Kakeru's wish comes true."

"Not funny, Kakeru." They arrived in front of the main shrine. It was rather quiet, since it was getting late.

"Hahaha. Ok, I am going to make my wish now. Try to think of yours too."

That laugh, he wonders if he can still see this ten years in the future? He observes Kakeru. Somehow, that laugh just now has disappeared, replaced by a serious face. Or was it a sad face? Suwa wasn't sure. That sad face of Kakeru that he first saw at Agata Park months ago. It reminded him. Being with Kakeru has always been so fun, that he has almost forgotten the warning from his future self. He couldn't imagine Kakeru killing himself.

But, now, he knows what to wish for.

He wished that Kakeru will live.


	8. 8 - The Unexpected Birthday

_September 14_

 _We didn't know until long afterwards that it was Kakeru's birthday, as Kakeru didn't say anything. After that, we said that we would celebrate it next year. But, his birthday next year didn't arrive. So, before that day, ask him when is his birthday and ask him what he wants._

* * *

He was sitting in a park, gazing at the letter. Well, trying to plan a birthday party. He needed to make a big show of asking about when Kakeru's birthday is in front of everyone. Then, he could convene a meeting in secret where they will be able to plan Kakeru's birthday. For now, even if he came up with a surprise birthday party plan, the others would have other ideas, which may be better. Yup, he might just as well keep the letter back in the envelope.

"Suwa." A voice came from behind.

He jolted with shock. He quickly turned his back and saw Naho.

"Oh, it's you." Discreetly he tried to hide the envelope. It would be catastrophically if she saw the letter. How was he going to explain?

"Wait…" Naho squinted as she tried to read the sender's name on the envelope.

"Did you get a letter from the future too?" said Naho.

That was not what he was expecting Naho to say.

"Did you also get one? Was it about saving Kakeru?" said Suwa.

"Yeah!" Naho sounded excited, before becoming slightly dejected. "I can't believe that Kakeru would commit suicide."

If it was not for the many moments when Kakeru showed a sad smile, he wouldn't have believed it too. "Hey, Naho, did your letter said anything about Kakeru's birthday?"

"No, it didn't."

"Well, mine did. Here, I'll show you." Naho took Suwa's letter and started reading it.

"We should plan a birthday party for Kakeru. We need to contact the others. Do you think if they have received a letter from their future self too?" said Naho after she read the letter.

"It seems quite likely." The fact that Naho had one allowed him to think that the others may have received one too. Even if they didn't, it would probably be safe to tell them too? Certainly, he didn't think that telling others that he had a letter from his future self was a good idea, but considering the odds are much higher now, maybe he should.

* * *

"So, is there any reason for you to gather us on this fine day that should be my holiday?" asked Hagita.

"Well, Naho and I have something important to say." said Suwa.

"Something important? What are you going to say? You both are going out not?" said Hagita.

"What nonsense are you saying, Hagita?" said Azusa. Naho has started blushing due to Hagita's comment.

"Yeah. Don't start nonsensical stories." said Suwa. "Anyways, what I want to say is…" Gosh, it was harder to say it. After all, if they didn't receive a letter from the future, it would be embarrassing and they might start thinking that he was mad.

"Have you guys received a letter from your future self? Suwa and I have received one." said Naho. Her sudden courage to reveal her secret surprised him. Earlier, he was worried that Naho might be afraid of telling out the secret of the letter from their future-self. When had she started to change to this new confident self?

"Yeah, I have." answered Takako

"I have one too. Gosh, this is so exciting! I thought that I was the only one that had it." said Azusa.

"Well, so normal of you to be so self-centred. I have one too." said Hagita.

"I bet you thought the same thing, stupid Hagita." said Azusa. They were about to descend into their usual bickering self, before Takako stopped them. Suwa was really starting to wonder when these two would start realising their feelings for each other and start dating.

"So, all of you have received a letter from your future-self? Was it about Kakeru?" said Suwa.

"Yeah, it was. I can't believe what the letter said when I first saw it. Actually, I still don't believe it. But, whatever it wrote came true. Not all, I guess, since we have been actively trying to change things." said Azusa. Takako and Hagita nodded silently in agreement.

"Yeah, these issues are important, and that saving is Kakeru is very important. I'm sure we will be able to save him." said Naho. Suwa thought that she had really changed as a person. This confident version of Naho. Somehow, she had assumed the role of the leader in this Mission Save Kakeru.

"Anyways, what Suwa and I wanted to discuss about today is about Kakeru's birthday." said Naho. "Did your letters talked about not being able to celebrate Kakeru's birthday?"

"I can't remember exactly what the date is, but I think so." said Azusa.

"It's September 14th, you doofus." said Hagita.

"I'm not." said Azusa.

Ignoring the bickering couple, Takako said, "So, are you two planning to hold a birthday party for him? Maybe a surprised birthday party?"

"Yeah. But we still need to ask him when is his birthday. Kakeru might get suspicious about how we know when his birthday is if we try to surprise him directly." said Suwa.

"So, are you guys joining in this plan?" asked Naho.

"Of course!" said Azusa. Somehow, she had finished her argument with Hagita. Or has she?

"Yeah." said Hagita and Takako.

"Great, we can start planningnow." said Suwa. It seems that his original worries about how to organise a birthday party for Kakeru went away when he shared this burden with his friends.

* * *

 _September 14 – cont._

 _When you want to ask Kakeru what he wants for his birthday present, make sure you ask that after everyone have asked. I'm pretty sure that he would say "Flowers." Ask him the reason why. Make sure you get him a bouquet of flowers._

 _Back then, I didn't do a good job of supporting Naho and Kakeru. Maybe, I'm just selfish, since I liked Naho too. But, after I saw them how Naho was after Kakeru died, I regret that I didn't support them. Certainly, I'm selfish here, asking you, my past self to sacrifice, but I hope you will, for Naho and Kakeru's happiness._

* * *

"Kakeru, what birthday present do you want?" asked Suwa to Kakeru as they were walking back home after their soccer practice.

"Hmm, you're really late in asking, you know. I already got a soccer bag, a set of manga and a ticket to next Matsumoto football team football match."

"Haha, Kakeru. It's not even your birthday yet and you are saying this like you have received all the presents."

"Well, I'm not sure. I think I have nearly everything I want." said Kakeru.

Seems like it was not going the way of the letter. In a way, the future certainly has changed and diverged. In this universe, Kakeru doesn't like Naho, if he would to believe what Kakeru have told him during the MatsuBon summer festival. Still, he decided to follow the letter and make sure that the others have asked Kakeru what presents he wants before he asked.

"Hmm, I know! Get me a bouquet of flowers." said Kakeru with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"You want a bouquet of flowers? What for?"

"You will know on my birthday what it is for. I'll tell you what to do with it. Oh, make sure you choose Naho's favourite flowers."

"So, you want to give Naho flowers?"

"You'll know on that day!"

Somehow, everything seems to be going according to the plan of the letter. He was nearly expecting it not to, though.

* * *

"You left something in the classroom?" asked Kakeru.

"Yeah, I just realised it. My Mathematics textbook." said Suwa.

"Ok, then I'll wait for you here."

"You might just as well accompany me, instead of standing here like a dumb person."

"What? You are afraid of the dark? Well, the sun has not set yet."

"Just accompany me, won't you?" Suwa was starting to wonder if Kakeru had seen through their surprise birthday party plan and was trying to make it difficult for him.

"Well, say please Kakeru-sama."

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Forcing people to say such gross words to boost your ego."

"Well, I'm going home then. Bye, Suwa."

Suwa was completely sure that Kakeru did that on purpose, knowing that they had planned a surprised birthday party. They have tried to create a semblance of normalcy today, but it didn't work after all? Maybe it was the fact that they haven't given him their gifts which had leaked the secret out. After all, they were pretty blatant about asking what he wanted as a birthday present just a few weeks ago.

"Well, since it is your birthday… 'Please, Kakeru-sama'"

"Hahaha. Why are you so desperate?" said Kakeru.

Step 1 of the plan—Bring Kakeru to the classroom—succeeded.

"Happy Birthday, Kakeru!" said Naho, Takako, Azusa, Hagita and Suwa in unison, once Kakeru opened the classroom door.

"Eh, Kakeru! Why are you frozen in the doorway?" said Suwa.

"Ah… This is surprising. I actually have forgotten that it was my birthday today. Thank you, everyone." said Kakeru.

"Here is our gift. Don't be surprised about it." said Takako and Azusa.

"Ah, the ticket for the football match?"

"You mean tickets!" said Azusa. "We got you two of them."

"Here you go." said Hagita as he passed his present.

"Oh, you got me the manga. Thanks." said Suwa.

"Here you go!" said Naho as she passed her present. It was a sports bag.

"Thank you very much, it must have been expensive."

"Not really haha. Nothing is too expensive for a good friend."

"Oh ya! Where's your present?" asked Azusa to Suwa.

"Well, I left it outside. Wait for a while."

Suwa came in with a bouquet of flowers.

Azusa started howling with laughter. "What are you, his boyfriend?" Hagita and Takako snickered.

"Shut up! That's what Kakeru said he wanted."

"Oh, you really did it." said Kakeru, before descending into laughter.

"Now what, Kakeru? You want this?" asked Suwa.

"Ok, I'll tell you what I want you to do now." said Kakeru before whispering some words to Suwa.

"What?" said Suwa.

"Just do it. It's for my birthday after all." said Kakeru.

Suwa slowly walked towards Naho, holding the flowers.

"There you go, Naho." said Suwa.

"What for?" asked Naho.

"To express my thanks for all the things you have brought into my life."

"I don't think that I did that much though? You did more for me, Suwa. I should be the one thanking you."

"No, you really did change my life. Thank you, Naho."

"Oh, Suwa finally confessed his love." Hagita remarked.

"I did not. This is all Kakeru's fault. He wanted a comedic sketch and he forced me to say all that." said Suwa.

"Seems like you act rather naturally though." said Kakeru.

Naho stood rather dumbfound, holding the bouquet of flowers in her hands while Suwa chased Kakeru around the classroom. Azusa and Hagita laughed at what was happening in the whole scene. Takako observed everything quietly.


	9. 9 - Stalking in a Shopping Mall?

_September 23_

 _After Kakeru's death, we learn from Kakeru's grandmother that he attempted to commit suicide by hanging himself on this day. This was the reason he was hospitalised and didn't come to school for the next few days. It seems that he had met up with his old friends from Tokyo just the day before._

 _Persuade Kakeru to not meet with his friends, and work to prevent him from attempting to hang himself._

* * *

"So, everyone, I guess you all know that this meeting is about Kakeru. So, did everyone's letter talk about this? Kakeru committing suicide?" Naho, the convenor of the meeting said.

All of them gave an affirmative yes.

"So, what should we do about this? Any ideas?" said Naho.

"Hmm… How about we try to ask him out on that day that he planned to meet up with his old friends?" Suwa suggested.

"Old friends?" asked Azusa.

"Didn't your letter said anything about him meeting his old friends before he attempted suicide?" Suwa replied.

"Well, not mine either." said Hagita.

"But mine did. Takako?" said Naho.

"Mine did." Takako answered.

"Well, anyways, my letter hinted that his suicide might have a connection with him meeting his old friends the day before. It might have no connection either. My letter wasn't conclusive." said Suwa.

"It seems like a good idea anyway. We could ask him out that day. And watch over him until night. Make sure he doesn't end up killing himself. Ensure that he has a good time. Whether or not he ended up meeting his friends, if we can prevent him from forming such thoughts, it might work." said Takako.

"This idea sounds good. Let's go withit." said Naho. The others nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Hey, Kakeru! Are you free on the 22nd of September? Wanna hang out?" asked Suwa.

"Why so sudden? And on such a specific date too? My birthday is over, right? So, not a surprise birthday party. Hmm… Sounds fishy." said Kakeru.

"What? Nothing so fishy about this. I just want to hang out with Kakeru. No?" said Suwa while making a pouty face.

"Oh! I hear something interesting. It has been some time seems we all hang out together. Can I join too?" said Takako.

"Well, I was about to ask everyone else too." said Suwa.

"Well, we would all love to join." said Azusa and Naho.

"Me too." said Hagita.

"Then it's all set." said Suwa.

"Wait… I haven't even said yes." said Kakeru.

"Unless, you have other plans?" asked Suwa.

"No, I don't. Well sure, I'm free to hang out on the 22nd of September." said Kakeru.

"Then, everything isgood." said Suwa. Still, he couldn't push away an uneasy feeling. Didn't Kakeru have plans to meet up with his old friends? Has the future changed again?

* * *

It has been a week since September 23. Somehow or another, their plan must have succeeded, since, Kakeru did not end up trying to kill himself. He came to school as usual. Still, Suwa was slightly worried. Kakeru's depression was a ticking time bomb. It might explode at any time.

Worrying wouldn't do him any good, so he decided that he might just as well message Kakeru and ask him what he was doing now.

'I'm meeting with some of my old friends from Tokyo.' Kakeru's replied him. Eh? Didn't they manage to prevent Kakeru from meeting with his old friends? Wait… There was a flaw in their plan. They planned their September 22 trip way too early. Before his old friends asked to meet up. That's why he accepted their invitation to hang out so easily. So, maybe, he ended up meeting up with his old friends on a later date?

What could he do? Stop the meeting? But, he's probably already meeting up with them, or have already met up with them. Asking him to cancel the meeting or walk out from the meeting now is probably absurd, and Kakeru will wonder what's wrong with him.

'Where are you meeting your friends?' texted Suwa.

'PARCO shopping mall. We probably going to eat at the McD there."

Well, he was going to stalk Kakeru. Hopefully Kakeru doesn't notice him. Now, if only he has some wig. He would have to make do with a hat. Some sunglasses? Might be odd to wear some in the middle of the night. Seat nearer or further away? If he sat nearer, he might be able to hear the conversation clearer, but the risk of being noticed by Kakeru is higher. Vice versa for further away.

For clothes, hmm… Maybe he should choose a set of clothes that Kakeru have not seen before… Obviously, but which clothes have Kakeru seen before, but… probably not something to weird, lest it attracts unwanted attention…

* * *

Suwa can't believe that he would be doing something so Azusa like. Stalking. He messaged everyone about this matter, but they haven't reply. He checked his disguise. It was probably ok. He hoped so.

Ok, Kakeru spotted with a bunch of guys. They were ordering their food for now. He should go order his food too.

After ordering their food, the bunch of guys sat at a good spot, defined by Suwa as a spot where it was easy to get a place that was near them but still good enough to remain hidden. Suwa chose a seat near them and sat them. For now, Kakeru hasn't yet realised his existence, which was great.

"So, how's life in Nagano?" guy A asked.

"Yeah, yeah! Are you still playing soccer?" guy B added.

"Yeah, I am." Kakeru answered.

"Oh, the seniors don't bully you there, do you?" guy C said.

"Yeah, we were sorry to see you transfer school. Was it because of the bullying by the seniors? We wanted to do something about it, but we were powerless in front of the seniors…" guy D said.

"Well, it was my mother's decision. She wanted to move to Nagano all of a sudden. I don't think it was related to the bullying by the seniors. And no, they don't bully me there." Kakeru said. Suwa pondered upon this new information. Was Kakeru afraid of being bullied by the seniors, that was why he refused to join the soccer club?

"Well, sounds good. Naruse, you are stronger then you look, eh? Able to overcome to trauma and fear of being bullied and joined the soccer club." said Guy A.

To that comment, Kakeru merely laughed lightly. "Well, I have a good friend that wanted me to join the soccer club."

"So, Naruse, you met good friends eh?" said Guy C. Kakeru nodded in response.

The conversation passed on to about Kakeru's old friends' life in Tokyo, without anything important happening.

Finally, Kakeru's old friends decided to leave. Suwa followed Kakeru towards his home after a distance. Suwa thought that despite the innocent sounding conversation, there still might be the possibility of an event triggering Kakeru to attempt suicide.

Maybe, he could try message Kakeru?

'How was your meeting with your old friends?' Suwa sent a text to Kakeru.

'It was fine. But a bit tiring.' Kakeru was not revealing anything through text. He needed to meet up with Kakeru and ensure that his state of mind was sane.

'Are you still at PARCO? I happened to be there for something. Wanna meet up for a while?' Of course, he knew that Kakeru was still at PARCO, but he needed to feign ignorance.

'Sure? Where are you?'

'Wait for me in front of the supermarket.'

* * *

"Suwa."

"Ah, hi Kakeru." Just after sending the message, Suwa realised that he was still the sunglasses and the hat. Luckily, he realised that immediately. Still, he didn't have other clothes to change into. He can only hope that Kakeru didn't notice a person wearing this set of clothes just now.

"So, what are you doing here, Suwa?"

"Err… I was trying to find… a certain brand of chocolate from the supermarket." Suwa was caught slightly off-guard. He has forgotten to create a reason and had to make one on the spot.

"Ahahaha. I was wondering if you were stalking me. Such a coincidence eh."

"Ahahaha. Not at all." Did he know? Or not?

"So, where is the chocolate? I want some."

"Eh… Well… It sold out."

"You're being suspicious, Suwa."

"You are just overly wary, Kakeru."

"But having such a caring friend that stalks me because he worries that my old friends might bully me is nicee toooooo"

"Kakeru, you are being dramatic. I was not stalking you."

"Really? I'm sad now."

"Ok ok, that's enough of acting."

"You're no fun, Suwa."

They exit the mall and walk towards their home.

"Anyway, what did your old friends want?"

"Nothing really. But it was really tiring talking to them. I'm not really close to them, actually, so it was slightly boring."

"Eh, then why did you agree to meet up with them?"

"What do you expect me to say to them? 'No, you cannot visit me.'? "

"Well, I guess that's true too."

"Then, are you feeling okay, Kakeru?"

"I'm fine. What's with that question?"

"No particular reason."

"Well, I'm happy now because I get to see Suwa. Ahahahaha."

Suwa made a motion of attempting to slap Kakeru, which Kakeru playfully avoided.

"Seriously, being friends with all of you is the best thing that happened to me, you know." said Kakeru.

"Okay, bye Suwa, I'm going that way."

"Kakeru!"

"Yes?"

"Do me a favour. Message me first thing tomorrow morning."

"Why? Are you worried that I might attempt to commit suicide?"

A split second of quietness.

"Are you going to?" Suwa said.

"It's just a joke, Suwa. Don't worry. No… …day… … way."

"What did you just say?"

"I'll message you, don't worry."

Still, Suwa can't help but worry.


	10. 10 - A Practice Run in the Evening

_October 1_ _st_

 _Today, Kakeru was chosen to run the 100-meter relay dash since he was the fastest during today's PE. 6 other boys and girls were chosen. He is going to be the anchor._

 _But, during the sports festival, he suddenly twisted and his ankle and fell down, and our class loses. Kakeru blames himself for losing. He was anxious about the event and was under a lot of pressure. That loss of confidence in himself, I'm sure it contributed to his depression._

 _For Kakeru's sake, do something so that he is no longer in the relay._

* * *

"Hey, hey, Kakeru's awake." said Hagita.

"Kakeru, you scared me! I mean Kakeru, you fainted!" said Azusa. Naho looked on concernly.

"Eh, I'm in the infirmary?" said Kakeru.

"Yeah. That's because you're a weakling who fainted during the soccer practice." said Takako while shaking her head.

"Don't bully me, Takako, I'm a sick person!" said Kakeru.

"Well, that's because you didn't take care of yourself! Look, Suwa is stunned in shock here." said Takako. Kakeru looked at Suwa.

"Hah? What are you saying?" said Suwa.

"Ahahahaha! The expression on Suwa's face just now hahaha." Kakeru laughed while looking at Suwa.

"Did Kakeru hurt his head just now?" asked Hagita.

"Yeah? Was Suwa's face that funny?" asked Naho. Azusa, Hagita, and Takako started observing Suwa's face.

"Hey, nothing's wrong with my face." said Suwa.

"Well, ahahaha, you can't see it ahahaha now… It was just a split second. Anyways, sorry guys for worrying all of you. I'm fine now." said Kakeru.

"Are you … eating well?" asked Suwa

"Yeah! But, not as much as you!" said Kakeru.

"Hahaha, yeah, Suwa's such a glutton." said Azusa.

"But, seriously, take care of yourself, Kakeru." said Takako.

Suwa could probably guess why Kakeru fainted today. Since Kakeru joined the soccer club, since he was just a newbie, he worked twice as hard so that he could be selected as a starter. He must have overworked himself. Suwa wondered if inviting Kakeru was to join the soccer club was a good choice.

"Naruse-kun, your grandmother is here to pick you up." said the nurse.

"Argh, so fast! I still want to make jokes about Hagita with Kakeru." said Azusa.

"I can't believe that you cooperated with this girl to make jokes about me, Kakeru!" said Hagita.

"Ahahahaha. I just like to bully Hagita, ahahaha." said Kakeru.

* * *

After school, Suwa walked back home with Naho.

"Suwa!" said Naho.

"Yeah?"

"Why the gloomy face? I've noticed it since just now."

"Do you think that asking Kakeru to join the soccer club was a good idea?"

"Why not?"

"Well, it seems that he overworked himself and that's why he fainted today."

"You feel responsible about it? Hmm… But, isn't that… the proof that he is having fun?"

"Hmm… Now, that you say this, I think so too? Hehehe, I can't believe that Naho, you are here giving me advice. When did the Naho who was such a worrier become so mature?"

"People changed all the time, whenever they face adversity, or sometimes not necessarily."

Really, it seems that Naho has changed since she was in middle school. Somehow. Suwa wonders whether he still has a crush on her? He wonders how people who married remained in love with their partners 20, 30, 40, 50… years after, considering that they changed so often. Suwa fell for her kindness when they were just in middle school. But… After a long time burying his feelings, Suwa wonders whether they are still the same. Now, she seems to have a kindness tempered with maturity.

* * *

Line Group – "Save Kakeru!"

Naho: How are we going to ensure that Kakeru is not in the relay race?

Suwa: I can try to run faster than him during PE, but he is a really fast runner…, and the teacher might still choose him to run for the race?

Azusa: We can try to trip him when he is running.

Hagita: That will not work. He will just be asked to rerun. Food poisoning would be a better idea.

Azusa: How are we going to make Kakeru get food poisoning?

Takako: Can you give SANER and better ideas that don't hurt Kakeru?

Hagita: Well, there is obviously a trade-off between not physically harming Kakeru and inability to prevent him from being selected into the race.

Suwa: We can try persuading him?

Takako: What reason are we going to give him?

Naho: That we are worried about his health? Because he fainted that day?

Takako: Hmm… Good idea. If we were all there to persuade him, it might work?

Hagita: What are we going to do if he doesn't get persuaded? We need a foolproof method.

Naho: Well, if anyone has a good idea that doesn't involve harming Kakeru, then, just put it in this group.

* * *

"Kakeru! Are you sure you want to be the anchor for the relay?" said Suwa.

"Yeah, if the pressure is too much for you, Suwa can run for you." said Naho.

"Nah, it's fine. I'm sort of looking forward to it. It makes me feel like I'm useful sometimes." said Kakeru.

"But I'm worried about your health. You fainted the last time." said Suwa.

"Yeah, we are worried about you." said Takako.

"What if you fainted again?" said Azusa.

"Or get food poisoning?" said Hagita. Takako gave Hagita a sharp glare.

"Ahahaha! What… Food poisoning!" Kakeru laughed.

"But, yeah… Maybe I shouldn't be the anchor? It seems like a lot of pressure representing the class. If I get food poisoning, who knows? But, Suwa? Wouldn't it be too much pressure for you too?" said Kakeru.

"Don't worry about me! If you want, I can replace you for the run. I'm pressure free." said Suwa.

"Gahahahaha. Pressure free…" Kakeru laughed again.

"Then, I'll inform the teacher." said Suwa.

"Yeah."

It was mission accomplished. They managed to convince Kakeru, though Suwa didn't expected that Kakeru was looking forward to the race. Well, it was unavoidable this time. Kakeru's survival comes first.

* * *

"So, you want me to help you with practicing the run?" asked Kakeru. Suwa nodded.

"And I need to really run while passing the baton?" Suwa nodded.

"What… I thought I didn't need to practice running for the race anymore. Why can't I just pass normally?"

"I need to practice the momentum." said Suwa.

"What… Momentum… Then, shouldn't you be doing this with the rest of the runners? So that you can get the CORRECT momentum." said Kakeru.

"Ahahaha. Well, they are busy with other stuff, so for now, I guess I can only get the APPROXIMATE momentum." said Suwa.

"Hahaha. Well, since you have already bullied me to give up my relay place, I might just as well be further bullied into helping you."

Suwa can't help but feel a bit guilty for persuading Kakeru to give up running in the relay. Still, it was for his own good. Which was better, he wondered protecting someone from harm even though it involves restricting his choice, or allowing them to hurt themselves in trying out new things. Well, the thing is, it is too risky. It might increase Kakeru's risk for suicide.

"Well, I guess I'm just thinking about your benefit."

"Yeah, I know."

They started practising while the sun moves towards setting.


	11. 11 - The Headband of the Sport Festival

Today is the sports festival. There quite a lot of things that Suwa need to do. In addition to participating in events such as bo-taoshi, the relay and the tug-of-war, he needed to ensure that Kakeru will have a memorable and happy sports festival. Naho's letter had a good suggestion, which was to invite his Kakeru's grandmother.

That plan should work. He had 'delegated' inviting Kakeru's grandmother to the sports festival to his father. Since Kakeru's grandmother don't drive, and they lived quite far from the city centre, he asked his father to fetch Kakeru's grandmother.

"Good morning, Suwa."

It was Kakeru. Suwa greeted him back. They had to arrive early for the sports festival and help up in the preparation. Their parents would be arriving later. Suwa hoped that Kakeru would be happy about the surprise of seeing his grandmother later.

Well, just a while more before the start of the sports festival, and a little while for Kakeru to get a surprise.

* * *

The Bo-taoshi (literally, pole pull-down) event was starting soon. The three boys, Suwa, Kakeru, and Hagita was participating in it. Everything was proceeding quite well, as Kakeru was indeed surprised and happy to see his grandmother. Well, except for the fact they lost the tug-of-war.

If they win the Bo-taoshi, they should get a lot of marks, so Suwa hoped that they could win it.

For the Bo-taoshi event, he was going to take his shirt since it involves a lot of violent pulling and attacks. Well, most of the boys will be taking off their shirts.

"Wow, Suwa. After you took off your shirt, you look cooler!" said Takako.

"Yeah, usually Suwa is just a doofus, but when he shows off his six packs... He liked a different person. Ehehehe." said Azusa.

"Stop teasing me, you two." said Suwa.

"Well, that's what all the girls come to the sports festival for—to see the boys half-naked during the Bo-taoshi event." said Azusa.

"What…" said Suwa. "Well, whose are you looking forward to? Hagita's?"

"That's definitely what she is looking forward to." said Takako.

"Why would I be looking forward to that guy? He doesn't have six packs." said Azusa.

"Who said I don't?" said Hagita. On his body, there were six packs muscle marks drawn with black markers.

"What's that? Did you draw them? Lol, you're so funny, Hagita." said Kakeru.

"Wait… So that's why you wanted those permanent markers?" said Azusa.

"Permanent markers?" said Hagita.

"So, Naho, which one do you prefer?" said Azusa suddenly.

"Well… I'm… They're all good. Well, except Hagita's?" said Naho.

"Even the usually kind Naho is bullying me. The world is ending." said Hagita.

"Well, I guess Hagita is out. So, is Suwa cool, Naho?" asked Takako.

"Err, yeah?"

"Or do you prefer Kakeru?"

"Eh eh eh… Well, Suwa's good."

Suwa couldn't believe his ears. Naho prefers him to Kakeru?

"Suwa, you're blushing." said Kakeru.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"We need to go, Kakeru. Bo-taoshi is starting soon."

"Don't try to change the subject."

They proceeded to the starting position. Suwa and Kakeru was part of the offense team.

"Hey, Suwa. Are you going to date Naho?"

"Hah, why so sudden?"

"She clearly prefers you. And you like her. And you were concern about me, that's why you don't plan to confess to her. But, I already told you that I don't like her romantically. So, you should confess, no?"

"She just prefers me to you… And it was about six packs, ok? It doesn't mean she likes me."

"Well, I would want to see two of my friends living a happy and sweet couple life."

"What?"

"Hahahahahahaha."

Suwa glared at Kakeru.

"I really like bullying you, Suwa."

"I think I made the wrong the decision approaching you on the first day of school."

"No, you didn't. I should ha… fuse… you."

"What did you just say just now?"

"Nothing. Bo-taoshi is starting soon. Let's win this, Suwa."

"Yeah!"

* * *

"Suwa! Your hand is bleeding." said Kakeru.

"Suwa. Are you ok?" asked Azusa.

"Oh. Must have been the wooden pole." said Suwa.

"You should have it treated." said Kakeru.

"I'm fine. I'll just wash it." said Suwa. Kakeru gave him a glare.

"Yes. You need to get it treated properly. I'm in-charge of the first-aid. Follow me to the first-aid tent." said Naho. She dragged a reluctant Suwa to the first-aid tent.

"Sit here. I'll take the first aid kit." said Naho.

Naho started treating Suwa with the gauze pad, antiseptic and iodine solution.

"Ouch! Argh! Ah! It's painful…" said Suwa.

"Well, you should be able to stand this bit of pain, Suwa." said Naho.

Well, the injury was rather painful. Still, it was worth it as they managed to win the Bo-taoshi. And to get treated by Naho.

"Suwa, you have a weird grin on your face." said Takako.

"Weird grin?" said Suwa.

"Ok, it's done." said Naho.

"Thank you, Naho." said Suwa with a bright smile to Naho.

"No problem. Oh ya, how about Kakeru and Hagita."

"I don't have an injury." said Hagita.

"How about you, Kakeru?" said Naho. Kakeru didn't response. "Er… Kakeru?"

"Ah! Yes?"

"Did you have an injury? Oh, there's a scrape on your arm." said Naho.

"Oh, that's nothing." said Kakeru.

"Eh. You asked me to get treated but now you don't want to get treated? Are you perhaps scared of pain too?" said Suwa. He started dragging Kakeru to the first-aid tent.

"Argh. Suwa. Let me go." said Kakeru.

"Don't want."

Kakeru glared at Suwa. Except it wasn't the usual playful or joking one. Slightly shocked, Suwa quickly stop dragging Kakeru. There was an awkward pause in the air.

"Sorry. I'm a little tired." Kakeru said. He grabbed the band-aid from Naho's outstretched hand before quickly running away.

"Is Kakeru okay?" asked Azusa.

"Yeah, I'm a little concern about it. I'm going to chase after him and talk to him. Suwa, you stay here." said Takako.

"Why?" said Suwa.

"Aren't you dumb, Suwa?" said Hagita.

"Yeah, he is." said Azusa.

So… Suwa was slightly confused. Wait… Was Kakeru angry with him? But why? Did he accidentally dragged him too hard and hurt him? But, Kakeru wouldn't get angry about that. Or just anything. The last time they had a fight, was… about Kakeru dating Ueda-senpai. But at least that seem understandable. Maybe, Kakeru never liked being teased and was just keeping it… And he finally snapped? Wait, does this make logical sense? Wouldn't he have noticed it? And unless Kakeru is a hypocrite, since he loved bullying Suwa…

Suwa was utterly confused.

* * *

"Where's Yamamoto-kun?" The relay race was about to start but Yamamoto, one of the relay runners wasn't there. This have made their homeroom teacher a little annoyed.

"I've found Yamamoto-kun. In the infirmary. He had food poisoning."

"WHAT? What did he eat? Well… Call Naruse-kun here." Call Kakeru? What was sensei thinking? Is he going to ask Kakeru to run? After all their hard work to persuade Kakeru, he is going to end up running? And the thing just now with Kakeru. Was he ok? Suwa was slightly worried that thing might be awkward between them.

Kakeru promptly arrived.

"Naruse-kun, we need you to run since Yamamoto-kun called in sick."

"Me?"

"No excuse this time. Don't worry about the pressure. I won't blame you if we lose. Still, you are our best bet for me to beat that Kawamura-sensei. If Blue team wins, I would have to buy him lunch.

Sensei… Don't bring us into your bets. And, you just increasing the pressure on Kakeru. That was what Suwa thought.

"Ah. Ok then. I'm honoured to represent the class, sensei." said Kakeru.

"Oh good! That's the spirit, Naruse-kun."

"Sorry about just now. I was just tired." said Kakeru to Suwa.

"Don't worry if we don't win this. Don't be pressured. And if we don't win this, it's not your fault. Remember." said Suwa.

"Why are you so pessimistic… Well, getting to run with you. Is probably fun enough. Anyway, it would be your fault, since you are the anchor."

"Wah wah wah. So savage, Kakeru. I'm hurt." said Suwa.

"Hahaha. On the bright side, it seems instead of getting only an approximate momentum, you got the exact one, no?"

* * *

Maybe it was the practice? Or that Suwa was the anchor? But Kakeru didn't trip and fall in the middle of the race. So, with their superior speed, they managed to win the relay. To sensei's delight, obviously. The red team managed to be the overall winner.

"It was a long day." said Kakeru to Suwa.

"Yeah, it was." They sat on a bench.

"I'm tired."

"So am I."

"I'm sleepy. Lend me your lap, Suwa."

"My lap? Don't tell me you are going to sleep on my lap."

"Yeah, I am."

"Err… Okay."

Soft, jet black hair landed on Suwa's lap. Even though Kakeru's head was heavy, Suwa sort of liked the feeling. It feels like Kakeru trusts him. After all, lying down like that, it's like exposing all his vulnerabilities? Anyway, he guessed Kakeru wasn't angry after all?

Snoring sounds starts to come out from Kakeru. Wow, he was really that tired? The autumn wind blows lightly and after a while…

* * *

"Hey, Suwa! Wake up, it's late already."

"Ah…" Suwa blinks his eyes. Oh yeah, he and Kakeru fell asleep on the bench. Well, technically, Kakeru fell asleep on his lap.

Something feels missing from his forehead.

"Oh, ya, it seems that your headband fell down, Suwa. There you go."

"Thanks."

"Speaking of headbands, do you know our school have a rumour about exchanging sport festival headbands."

"What rumour?"

"I heard the girls saying something about switching headbands with the person you like will make that person like you too."

"Are you sure you have not been reading too much Shoujo manga? Aren't you too old to believe such things?"

"Ahahaha. Well, I said that was such a rumour, not that I believe in it, okay?"

"Yeah yeah."


	12. 12 - A New Year Eve Confession

_December 31_ _st_

 _Today, we went as a group for the shrine visit in anticipation of the New Year. It was all good at the start, but then Kakeru and Naho had a fight. Kakeru left before the New Year came. Naho was crying and I comforted her. I confessed my feelings to her on this day. She rejected me, of course._

 _When the winter break was over, I told Kakeru that I confessed to Naho. Even though I know his feelings for her. I bet that was one of the reasons Naho didn't end up making up with Kakeru before his death. She had regrets for the rest of her life._

 _So, don't confess to Naho. I guess I have said this for the god-knows how many times, but I will repeat it—support Kakeru and Naho, and give them the opportunity to experience happiness._

* * *

Suwa looked at what the letter said. The future had changed a lot. Kakeru did not fall in love with Naho. Not in this world anyway. He wondered what actions have changed them to such a future. Hopefully, that means they wouldn't quarrel today. Well, Naho had her own letter, which would have given her detailed instructions on how to avoid fighting with Kakeru. Still, with such a drastic change in the future, what will happen indeed? Suwa can't help but feel scared about this unknown future.

But, it was time to meet up with them soon. He can't wait for it. After all, they made plans to meet on Christmas Eve, but Kakeru's grandmother got sick, so they didn't manage to.

Beep— A message came. It was from Kakeru.

 _You're all prepared to confess to Naho?_

For some reason, Kakeru has been even more insistence about him confessing to Naho since the sports festival. Which was a little bit contrary to the letter. He didn't know what to do about it. He was sure that Naho would reject him anyway. But, he wonders if he still had the same feelings as when he first realised that he had fallen for her. No, he was sure that the feelings were different. Maybe, instead, the correct question should be—are these feelings still love?

Ok, it's time. He should leave now. Suwa quickly replied Kakeru, and then set out to their meeting place.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'I'll think about it.', Suwa?" said Kakeru.

"Well, I'm really not sure about my feelings for her. I'm not sure if it is love." said Suwa. The others had not arrived yet, so they could openly talk about such things.

"But, you were blushing when she treated you during the sports festival. And countless other times."

Kakeru's remarks make a little sense, to tell the truth. Maybe he should confess after all?

"Well, I guess what you said is true to a certain extent." said Suwa.

"So, so? Will you confess?"

"Does that make you happy?"

"Ehehe. Definitely."

That was cheating. Kakeru's smile. He can't say no to that.

"Fine. I guess I will tell her about it."

"Kakeru! Suwa! You're two are early." said Naho. She had just arrived. Before long, Takako, Azusa and Hagita all arrived. They all started to go towards the shrine.

"Eh, I'm thirsty." said Azusa. "How about you all?" All of them nodded.

"Oh great. Anyone want to volunteer to buy the drinks?" said Azusa.

"Why don't you volunteer, Azusa?" said Hagita.

"Because I can't be bothered. Why don't you go then?" said Azusa.

"Ok, you two. Stop bickering like an old married couple. We decide this by rock-paper-scissors, ok?" said Takako, the hyper experienced Azusa-Hagita's fights stopper.

The result ended up with Naho and Suwa having to buy the drinks. Before they left, Kakeru even whispered this is your chance. They walked silently. For Suwa, there was the additional awkwardness when he thought of what Kakeru have been persuading him to do.

He knows that he had said that he will confess to Naho, but, really, should he confess, or should he not?

"Hey Suwa, do you think we will be able to save Kakeru?" said Naho suddenly.

"I hope so." Suwa answered.

"I wonder. The future has changed so much, don't you think?"

"Yeah." Suwa thought about his letter. How his future self was absolutely convinced that the way to save Kakeru is to make him realise his feeling for Naho, and for Naho to realise hers too. But, this way doesn't seem viable anymore.

"I really wonder if our efforts are working. Marginally, it seems that Kakeru is having a more fun life, but he always hides his true feelings. Maybe the trigger on the day he kills himself is something we cannot prevent."

A bitter smile appeared on Suwa's face. "Well, if that is the case, what can we do then?"

"I guess, nothing much, eh? Maybe, just make his days as enjoyable as possible."

Just for Kakeru's happiness, eh? Then, maybe he should confess?

"You know, Naho, there is something important that I want to tell you."

"Hmm, what?"

"I liked you. I used to like you."

Naho started to blush. "Eh?"

"When I first met you in middle school, you were that kind goddess in my life. I fell hard for you. But, I never had the courage to confess to you. And then, Kakeru came along and you fell in love with him. So, I suppressed my feelings even longer. My feelings that I have kept for a long time, it ended up fading. And, I guess, by now, it's over? I'm just saying this, so that my heart feels better, I guess? Sorry." That was his true feelings now, after he had mulled and mulled over them, overanalysed them, and he had 'confessed' it to Naho.

"Hehehe. Suwa. You're weird, confessing after you no longer like me, you know?"

I'm weird? Yeah, he was.

"Yeah, I am,ehehe."

* * *

"So, anything interesting happened just now?" said Kakeru to Naho and Suwa as they came back with the drinks. Suwa glared at Kakeru. What did he want? For everyone here to know his 'confession'?

"Anything interesting… What do you mean?" said Naho before she started to blush.

"What interesting?" said Azusa with a usual gossipy enthusiasm.

"Oh… Naho's blushing." said Takako.

"Come on, spill the beans, Naho." said Azusa.

"Well, I told Naho that I used to like her in the past." said Suwa.

"Eh? What did you say? But, wait… liked her in the past? Is that even a confession? Wait wait wait. Why are you suddenly telling her such things?" said Azusa.

"Well, that's old news." said Hagita.

"Yeah, it was so obvious. But… in the past? Yeah. Yeah. I guess that might be true." said Takako.

Kakeru looked a bit puzzled. "Didn't say you were going to confess to her?" he whispered to Suwa.

"Yeah, I 'confessed' to her. What I feel about her now. You're happy?" said Suwa.

"Err, yes. Yeah, I am." said Kakeru.

"That's good." said Suwa.


	13. 13 - Avoiding

"Kakeru, there's a football match on Saturday at Matsumoto Stadium. Wanna go and watch?" Suwa asked.

"Hmm… Saturday… I don't think I can make it." Kakeru said.

That was the 13th time Kakeru rejected his request to hang out. If he counted correctly. Well, the number of times is not the main point. Kakeru has been avoiding him. After he formed his 'hypothesis' that, he conducted many 'experiments', trying to rule out other explanations. He even bribed Hagita into inviting Kakeru to hang out, which Kakeru promptly accepted. So, it seems that Kakeru is really avoiding him, and him only.

Did he do anything wrong? Not that he can think of. He even recruited Naho to ask questions about him to Kakeru, if he had done anything wrong. But, even Naho reported that Kakeru avoided answering her questions directly, just giving excuse and feigning ignorance. He was sure that Kakeru knows that he is aware that Kakeru is avoiding him.

Is there no way but to directly confront him? Suwa really didn't want to. He fears that a direct confrontation will result in their relationship destroyed beyond repair. Suwa is definitely also worried about the negative effects of any confrontation can have on Kakeru's mental health. Still, he remembers about his first argument with Kakeru about Ueda-senpai. It actually went well in the end. Well, that was many months ago? He wondered why he had the courage to confront Kakeru before, and not now?

Really, Suwa has never been more confused about another human being in his life than ever.

* * *

It will be all good. Everything will go well. Suwa can't believe he used a Random Number Generator from the website called to decide whether to confront Kakeru. But, since the random number generator says to talk with Kakeru, he will do it.

"Kakeru, we need to talk." said Suwa. He managed to catch Kakeru just after the end of football practice.

"But…" said Kakeru.

"Which excuse is it now? You're tired and want to go home? Meeting with Hagita? Your grandmother is sick?"

"..."

"You're being avoiding me for weeks. Don't you owe me an explanation at least? Have I done anything wrong?"

"I've been avoiding you? Hahaha. Suwa, your joke is too cold."

"Kakeru! Can't you be more serious? Are you telling me that you were busy with something else for 13 consecutive times? Even though you agree to hang out with Hagita immediately after one of the time I asked you."

"That time, with Hagita? You tricked me, Suwa?" Kakeru's eye widened.

"So, what? You're not even explaining why you are avoiding me?"

"I… I… thought you would understand…"Kakeru's voice trickled softly.

"Hah? What are you talking about? How am I going to understand if you don't tell me anything?! You are so frustrating!" Suwa raised his voice.

"Yeah! I'm just a frustrating, depressed, person! Everything's my fault. It's my fault that Naho liked me and not you. I was also wrong for trying to pair you two up. It's also my fault that my mother died. I'm useless. So, stop being my friend, Suwa. Let me be punished." Having said that, with red and watery eyes, Kakeru ran away from Suwa.

Suwa was mildly annoyed and confused. What did Kakeru even meant? Stupid, stupid Kakeru. With Kakeru gone, Suwa had no choice but to go home. He walked towards the bicycle stands, ruminating over what just happened. Though he was angry, Suwa can't but help feel as if his heart was pierced when he saw Kakeru's tears. Was it because he snapped at Kakeru? He didn't expect himself to become so angry in the heat of the argument. Must have been all of his frustration. But, that was still not a reason to snap at Kakeru.

'Let me be punished.' Suwa suddenly remembered the words of Kakeru. Wait… What did he mean by that? Kakeru suffered from depression. It wouldn't mean that he would commit suicide, would he?

Fear coursed through Suwa's mind. What if their confrontation just now leads to Kakeru's suicide? 'Stupid, stupid, stupid boy.' Suwa scolded himself.

* * *

Suwa ended up in front of Kakeru's house. He didn't know if he was too late, or if Kakeru would see him, nor if he would snap at Kakeru again. So, he ended writing a letter. That would probably be better than talking to him.

Suwa knocked at the door.

"Oh, it's you, Suwa. Haven't seen you since the Sport's Day. You're here to meet Kakeru?" Kakeru's grandmother opened the door and spoked to him.

"Hi grandmother! Yes, I'm here to see him."

"I'll call him. Wait for a while."

…

"It seems that he is sick. I'm afraid that he can leave his room. But still, would you like to see him?"

"Yes, please." Thank god for grandmothers. Or Kakeru might have not answered the door.

Suwa walked towards Kakeru room.

"Err… Hi Kakeru." Kakeru was lying on his bed.

Suwa heard a murmur of hi.

"I'm sorry for everything just now… Actually, I'm not even sure if sorry is the right word. I'm honestly quite confused, and maybe you are still angry with me. I don't want to end up snapping at you again, so I wrote a letter about what I want to say. So… make sure you read it, and… You're important to me, okay? I'll put the letter here."

Having said that, Suwa said bye, and left Kakeru in his room.

* * *

Dear Kakeru,

I still don't know why you are avoiding me. But, I think I do not need to understand, especially, if it causes you pain. I need to respect your boundaries. I'm sorry if I have indirectly coerced you to behave in certain ways that you do not like. Your wellbeing is more important to me that my curiosity.

Speaking of which, I am concerned with how you blamed yourself just now. Are you not to blame? I think to say that would be a lie, which you would not believe me. But, it's clearly not all your fault, but partly mine and my callous behaviour, and maybe even fate. So, don't put the blame on yourself completely.

I'm also worried that you might do something… like committing suicide. Which I don't want you to, but then again, it is also partly my selfishness for wanting you to continue to be alive.

I think I have talked too much, so don't think too much about what I wrote. I just hope that this letter makes you feel better, as writing this has for me.

Regards,

Suwa.

* * *

It's Valentine Day. Just one day before the day Kakeru will commit suicide. After that day, Kakeru avoided him even more and started to avoid everyone else too. Not as much as how as avoiding him, but still, he generally stayed away went Suwa was there. Still, thank god he had not committed suicide or hurt himself.

Was he… going to end up, being separated from Kakeru without even properly reconciling? He felt a little regret but reminded himself that he should not be pressuring Kakeru.

"Suwa-senpai, these chocolates are for you." said one of the first-year girls. Who was it again? The managers of the football team?

"Thank you." Suwa replied with nothing but mere politeness. How many chocolates does he have now? He looked over towards Kakeru. He had three boxes. Probably from Naho, Azusa and Takako? Kakeru turned towards him and caught his looking towards him. With an expression that couldn't discern, Kakeru turned away from him. What kind of expression was that?

It's stifling.

Maybe. he should go get some air. Suwa walked towards the corridor, and then towards the soccer field. Luckily, it was break time now, so he could leave the classroom.

Soccer. What did his letter say? To make football the love of his life instead? But, he has only gotten more melancholic standing in the middle of the field. The wind. And him playing soccer with Kakeru. Argh!

"You're okay, Suwa?" a voice from beside him suddenly spoke.

"Takako?"

"Well, what am I saying? You're obviously not."

"What should I do, Takako? I don't know. It's painful, even though I think that Kakeru has every right to avoid me, even if I do not know why." They already knew that Suwa and Kakeru were avoiding each other. Even if both of them didn't say a word.

"I don't know, Suwa. If I knew, then I would have done something about it."

"So, you're here to console me?"

"Probably yes. Haha."

"Don't you think living things are fundamentally different from non-living things? Football never betrayed me, and even if I lost matches sometimes, I get sad for a while, but I work hard, and then I will become better. But, when it comes to other humans, no matter how much effort I put in, sometimes, it just doesn't work out. But, at the same time, I also think that human relationships aren't about effort, but loving and caring for each other."

"Shouldn't be surprising that living things are different from non-living ones."

"Selfish as this sounds, I wish Kakeru was next to me now."

"Well, you have to settle for a second-best then. Wait, am I even second-best?"

"Hmm… It's true I might prefer Naho."

"You're biased, Suwa. But, honest to the point of sometimes hurting others."

"It's my character trait. But, maybe that's how I hurt Kakeru? I don't even know."

"I wonder. A question, Suwa."

"Fire away."

"Do you… like Kakeru?"

"Of course, would I be agonising here otherwise?"

"I mean… romantically."

…

…

…

"Huh?"

"Well, I was wondering. It's not quite natural to agonise over such a long period of time. You generally try to move on. And, you two have actually been awfully close."

"Do, I?"

"Well, I don't know. But, you could stop blushing for a start, you're embarrassing me."

"I'm blushing?"

"Yes, stupid. Maybe, I should leave for a while. And, here's your obligatory chocolate. That's what I came for the first place. And if you like him, you could consider giving him chocolates. Ahahaha. See you."

Does he… like Kakeru?

Suwa can't figure out. Definitely, now that Takako mentioned it, thinking of Kakeru gives him a painful feeling, but thinking of all the happy moments they share makes him ultra-happy. If love is characterised by anything, it is the extremeness of emotions.

And, if he were allowed to choose, he would have Kakeru next to him now. Even if they weren't in this situation. Or would he? Thinking about counterfactual situations won't work. That's why love is so hard. You slowly, accidentally slipped along this slope. And, suddenly you find yourself there, wondering if your feelings are right, or they are just some result of an overactive imagination.

He wonders how nice it would to be… to hold hands with Kakeru. Wait! What is he thinking about? Is he really in love?

But maybe, it's the time for another courageous action, one last time. Even if he fails, it doesn't matter. If they did not manage to save Kakeru tomorrow, he will carry that burden his whole life. Not like their current situation is even favourable to saving Kakeru.

Still, Suwa wondered, if Kakeru wanted to be saved? Might it be merely his selfishness, that he wishes that Kakeru to be by his side. Surviving wasn't going to be easy for Kakeru, to face what has happened, and what might happen in the future. As someone who cares deeply about Kakeru, Suwa knew that he would want Kakeru to survive, but he wonders if it is because he wishes not to carry the burden. Has he truly think about Kakeru's feelings?

Suwa realises that he doesn't have an answer about it. But, perhaps, it is definitely true that Kakeru is important to him. If not, he probably wouldn't have thought about Kakeru's feelings.

Should he confess, or should he not?

Suwa decides to be selfish.

Now, time to find some chocolates?

* * *

Suwa was standing in front of the Kakeru's shoe locker. Waiting for him. Kakeru definitely needed to change his shoes, so blocking the shoe locker was probably the best strategy.

Standing there, Suwa wasn't sure if this was the right decision. He might be placing his burden on Kakeru. But, maybe thinking too much is just not the answer. Let whatever that needs to happen, to occur.

"Suwa?"

That voice was that called his name. Even without hearing it directly for few weeks, he instantly knew who it was.

"Excuse me, Suwa. I need to get my shoes."

"Wait. Hear what I have to say first."

"I don't want."

"I don't care. Kakeru, here are some chocolates."

"Why are you even me giving chocolates? Too much from your fans?"

"I'm giving you chocolates because…"

"Because…?"

"I…"

"You…?"

"I like you. Romantically."

"You're what?"

"I don't even know how. I'm not even sure. I just realised this after Takako suddenly raised the possibility? Does this mean I'm dense? Or shallow? Or what? I don't know. I might not be in love with you. But, I think there is a high possibility. Like, I feel like holding your hands. Argh, why am I even confessing…"

…

…

…

Silence, before some laughter breaks the silence. A giggle that Suwa misses very much.

"Heheh… Ahahahahahah…"

"Why are you laughing?"

"You're too funny. And too honest. And beyond nice. I thought you would end up hating me, after I deliberately avoided you."

"What… Stop teasing me."

"I'm sorry, Suwa."

"Ah, I knew it, I was going to get rejected, hahaha?"

"Hah? I didn't say I'm rejecting you."

"You were apologising to me, no?"

"Yeah, how does that even relate? Oh… Wait… I mean I'm sorry for avoiding you."

"Oh that. I'm sorry too, for snapping at you that day. Wait… you're not rejecting me?"

"Yeah, I… like you too. I'm sorry for avoiding you. But being with you… was getting too… painful. I thought avoiding you would end up reducing my feelings for you. Then, we could be friends again. I… didn't want to lose you as a friend. But, I end up falling for you even more when we were avoiding each other."

"Wait… that means, our love is mutual?"

"Seems so." said Kakeru, before rolling his eyes. "Not obvious enough?"

"Then, I have a new boyfriend?"

"No. I'm not dating you."

"Eh? Why?"

"I will just end up hurting you, no? Like before. My emotions, my insecurities, they are unstable. Look… I should have just told you my feelings earlier, and get rejected. Or bury them properly. I've just ended up catastrophising about the worst thing possible. I can't properly date you."

"No way. If you didn't avoid me like that, I probably wouldn't even realise my feelings for you. It's all good, you know. I don't care about the past."

"I should not date you. Even though, I feel like doing it. You're cheating. But then, that's what I like about you… Well, I'll think about it, I guess. And, with such a half-hearted confession, I'm not dating you anyway?"

"Half-hearted?"

"Who gives chocolates that came from the soccer team manager?"

"How did you know?"

"Well, I was watching. I know the packaging. Can't believe you are so cheap…"

"Eh… I couldn't go out and buy chocolates during class hour, can I? And, if I needed to catch you in time too."

"Excuse not accepted. Buy me something better. Or, you can try to make one."

"Eh? You're so demanding, Kakeru."

"You didn't know that and you still like me?"

"No, that's why I like you."

The setting sun rays shine through the entrance and cover their blushes, and laughter that has not been shared for weeks rings through the corridor.


	14. 14 - A Reward

_February 15_ _th_

 _Today is the day that Kakeru died. When we first heard about it, we just thought it was unfortunate. We wished that we could have been better friends with Kakeru. We had our regrets. I regretted not being better friends with Kakeru._

 _Ten years after, we visited Kakeru's grandmother. She told us the truth of Kakeru's death. At night, Kakeru suddenly left the house. He took his bicycle with him. He made his suicide looked as if it was an accident, as if he was riding his bike and accidentally rode in front of a truck. But, the real reason was that he had decided to kill himself._

 _I hope you can save Kakeru, and will not end up with regrets like me. This is my last entry. Good luck._

* * *

Suwa came to school with a certain sense of apprehension. After all, after whatever they have done, they just might not be able to save Kakeru. This might be the last day he had with Kakeru. But, he won't stand by and doing nothing. Not after he finally managed to find the most important person of his life. He will not let go of it.

"Good morning Kakeru!" said Suwa upon seeing Kakeru.

"Good morning Suwa!" Kakeru replied. How long was it since he last heard Kakeru's good morning. Suwa's heartbeat started to speed up. Is this what being in love is like?

"Kakeru! Good morning!" said Naho. "I have something for you." said Naho before giving Kakeru a bento.

"A bento made by you? Ah, it's been a long time since I taste your cooking. What's the special occasion?" said Kakeru.

"Err… I just happen to make too much. Hehe." said Naho. Even though they had agreed to do everything like normal today, he guessed that no one could possibly stay put.

"Kakeru."

"Ah, good morning, Hagita." said Kakeru.

"This is the manga that I told you about that day. Have fun reading it." said Hagita.

"Eh, I thought you said that it was very precious to you and you wouldn't lend it to me." said Kakeru.

"After some long thoughtful consideration, I decided that I should borrow it to you." said Hagita.

"Eh. Anyway, thanks, Hagita." said Kakeru.

"Kakeru, have some snacks." said Azusa suddenly while pulling out a bag filled with junk food.

"There was a sale yesterday, so we bought a lot." said Takako. Suwa was completely sure that a lie. He wonders how Takako can often pull off a blatant lie so easily.

"Err… Okay. Thanks, Azusa and Takako." said Kakeru. "You all are acting a little weird."

"No such thing." said all of them in unison. Which obviously resulted in the situation becoming even more suspicious.

"Really?" asked Kakeru.

"Yes!" everyone said in unison again.

"Ahahahaha. You all are so suspicious." said Kakeru. "Actually, if we follow the pattern, I haven't gotten anything from Suwa yet. Hmm…"

"Eh… err…" Suwa didn't have anything. He was a little too elated yesterday. Only this morning did the reality of today sink in. And, didn't everyone all agreed to act normal? That's why he didn't bring anything.

"Yeah?" said Kakeru, cocking his head to the right. God, that was too cute. All of Kakeru's action should be illegal.

"Err… Well, I gave you the chocolate yesterday, no?" said Suwa.

"Chocolates?" said Takako while raising her eyebrows.

"Isn't yesterday Valentine Day? Do boys give chocolates on Valentine Day?" said Azusa.

"You doofus. Don't you understand the importance of giving chocolates on Valentine Day?" said Hagita to Azusa.

"An expression of love?" said Azusa, before turning towards Suwa and Kakeru with a shocked face.

Suwa expected Naho to be oblivious to all of these things, but it turns out she was trying to stifle a laugh. She knew too?

"Ah! Look what you have done, Suwa. You turned the attention to us." said Kakeru.

Well, that's good. Suwa hopes that Kakeru forgets about all the weirdness just now. Not that he is going to forget all of the presents he had just received.

In the end, Kakeru didn't pursue the matter further, and their weird antics dissolved into laughter. Even if today was just a boring day like usual, Suwa would appreciate it very much. No, it better be a boring day.

* * *

It was lunchtime. As usual, Suwa bought his food from the canteen. Normally, Kakeru would tag along (except for the few weeks when he was avoiding Suwa), however, today, Kakeru cheerfully wave the lunch box made by Naho. Suwa felt a little jealous. Not so much that Naho made lunch for Kakeru but not him, but Kakeru is eating a homemade lunch by someone else. Maybe, he should learn how to cook…

"Ah, you're back." said Kakeru.

Suwa sat down and took up his non-homemade lunch set from the canteen.

"What are you eating?" asked Kakeru.

"Not your homemade lunch." said Suwa.

"Jealous?"

"Not at all." Kakeru looked unconvinced with Suwa's reply. Which makes sense since he was slightly sulking.

"Don't be jealous. I'll give you some."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Open your mouth."

"What fo…" While Suwa was distracted, Kakeru used his chopsticks to stuff Suwa's mouth with food.

"Naho, Hagita, Takako! Kakeru just fed Suwa." said Azusa suddenly.

"Oh! That's exciting." said Takako.

"What do you mean by exciting?" Suwa finally managed to swallow the food.

"Like from a BL manga." said Hagita.

"Huh?" said both Kakeru and Suwa, unfortunately blushing at the same time.

"Ahahahaha. Look at them both." said Takako.

"Congratulations to both of you." said Naho suddenly.

"What do you mean?" asked a puzzled Suwa.

"Aren't you both finally realising your feelings for each other and dating?" said Naho in a matter-of-fact nature.

"Hah? We're not." said Kakeru. Meanwhile, Suwa said "How did you know? Well… we're not dating actually…"

Kakeru glared at Suwa.

"Ahahahahaha. Can't believe they contradicted each other. I guess it's official. We should leave them alone. Give them some privacy. Come let's go." said Takako.

"Ah, but I still want to watch both of them." said Azusa, before being pulled away by Hagita and Takako.

Awkwardness overcame the whole situation as both Kakeru and Suwa were left alone. They started eating in quiet silence. Oh yes, he needs to ask Kakeru if he wants to hang out later. Part of their strategy today was to ensure Kakeru stayed with them for as long as possible so that they can watch over him.

"Say…" said both of them at the same time.

They laughed. Why are they trying to speak at the same time again and again today?

"You go first, Kakeru." said Suwa.

"Ok. Sorry… Even though we both know that we like each other, I insisted that we don't date… I bet you really wish that we are dating, no? Since, you responded that way to Naho, just now."

"Eh… Kakeru. Well, I'll be lying if I say that I don't want to be official with you right now. But, I'll respect your wishes. Well… our actions are almost like dating anyway hahahaha… Anyways, I was supposed to ask if you want to hang out later, with everyone?" said Suwa.

"Oh. But, I have to accompany my grandmother to the hospital later. I can't."

Dang, that put a wrench in their plans. "Well, that can't be helped. We can always hang out next time." said Suwa. If, they could. Suwa really hoped.

* * *

"So, what should we do about tonight? The original plan is not going to work since Kakeru needs to accompany his grandmother to the hospital." said Suwa.

"And, we can't pressure him, not after what happened to his mother after the first day of school." said Naho.

"How detailed are your letters? Does it say anything about where the accident happens?" Takako asked.

"I think mine does. Just let me check it." said Naho.

"As expected of Naho, always so detail oriented." said Azusa.

"Oh, how about we destroy his bike?" said Hagita.

"Destroy?" said Azusa.

"Well, that's quite the property destruction there. But…" said Takako.

"Oh, my letter does state at which intersection the accident occurs." said Naho.

"Then, I think we should wait there. The accident happened at 8.00 pm, right? We should wait there at 7.30 pm. Are we all in favour?" said Takako.

"Sounds good to me." said Suwa. The others nodded in agreement.

* * *

Suwa kept on checking the time on his phone. Well, it was not 8.00 yet, so nothing had happened.

The others were nervous too. Azusa was trying to be her cheerful self, cracking some random jokes, but Suwa knows that she was just trying to reduce her nervousness. Even Hagita didn't retort towards Azusa's horrible jokes, he was probably nervous too.

"Calm down guys. We will definitely save Kakeru today." said Takako. "We have all the information about the accident, and there's no way we will not succeed."

There was clearly a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Yeah, we will." said Naho. Trying to sound cheerful.

A few more yeah from the others and the whole scene went back to silence.

…

…

…

…

…

It has been quite a while, Suwa checked the time. It was 8.00 pm sharp. It's time.

…

A truck drives past.

…

"It's getting late. It's 8.05 already." said Suwa.

"Maybe we successfully prevented Kakeru from trying to kill himself?" said Azusa.

"I hope we did. But, wouldn't it be better for us to check?" said Hagita.

"Should we split up? I and Suwa will go and check at Kakeru's house. See if he's there." said Naho. "You guys stay here and keep watch. We message you guys if anything happens."

"Sounds good." said Takako.

"Come, let's go, Suwa." said Naho.

They quickly ran towards Kakeru's house. The light was lit. Kakeru's bike was parked near the house. Kakeru must be at home.

A quick knock on the door, and Kakeru's grandmother opened it.

"Hello, is Kakeru in?" asked Suwa.

"Kakeru? He just went out just now." said his grandmother.

"How long ago?"

"5 minutes."

Surely not? He hopes that Kakeru just went out for a walk. That would be nice.

Well, it was a good thing that Kakeru didn't go out on a bike. They might still be able to catch up with him.

"Naho, message the others. Let us split up and find him."

"Yeah."

Suwa ran towards the main roads. Let him be safe. He thought to himself.

"Naho, you take the left side, I'll take the right side."

"Okay." She also informed him which streets Hagita, Azusa and Takako were heading. And to ask anyone if they have seen Kakeru.

Suwa checks the time. It is now nearly 8.20 pm.

Suwa ran but there was no sight of Kakeru. No sight of anyone else too. Wait, there was someone there.

"Kakeru?" There was no response. Nope, it was not Kakeru. It was a person who was walking his dog.

Suwa approached that guy. He asked if he had seen someone who looks like Kakeru. Oh… It seems that he had been walking the wrong way.

He quickly called the others and informed them of the new information.

* * *

It has been quite some time. But they still haven't seen Kakeru. They ended up back as a group.

"Where is Kakeru?" Suwa was dead worried.

"Calm down, Suwa. We'll find him. And save him. Definitely." said Naho.

A familiar figure past by. It's Kakeru. He was sure. Except, he was walking towards the main road. And there was a truck coming.

"Kakeru!" shouted Suwa.

…

The truck zoom past the road.

…

Kakeru lies on the street.

…

"Kakeru! Are you okay?" said Suwa as he rushed towards Kakeru. Thank god. Kakeru stopped suddenly just as he was about the run right past the truck.

"Stupid! Dumb! Do you know how worried we are?" said Suwa.

"I… I…" said Kakeru.

"And you were planning to leave me alone? You useless piece of shit." said Suwa.

"I wanted to die."

"I wanted to apologise to my mother. But, when I walked towards the road… I suddenly became afraid to die."

"I thought about, what interesting things would there be tomorrow."

"I thought about, what would happen to you guys if I die."

"And I thought about..."

"Lol, why are you blushing now, Kakeru? Well, it's better than anything else just now, I guess." said Hagita.

"What did you think about huh? Kakeru?" said Takako.

"Most probably a person. Not me definitely. Come. Spit out now. You owe me that from scaring me just now with your act of running towards the road." said Azusa.

"Well… Hehehe… I was thinking about Suwa. I didn't get to…" said Kakeru.

"Didn't get to… what? Kiss? Or much more?" said Azusa.

"Hey! Stop teasing Kakeru." said Suwa.

"You're not helping him, Suwa. You're blushing too." said Takako.

They both just got redder.

"We really should leave them alone for a while." said Takako. "Come Naho, Azusa, Hagita."

The two of them were left alone.

"Kakeru."

"Yes?"

"I don't know how I could fall in love with such a stupid person that tried to kill himself. But… I don't know. In the end, I wasn't much use, was I? You… In the end, you stopped yourself. So, I'm proud of you. Hehe."

"Thank you, Suwa. I… always like your kindness the most. And, you were definitely of use. Without you, I would probably decide to kill myself. But, thinking about you stopped me."

"Stupid."

"You like such a stupid person, no?"

"You… Promise me that you will visit a psychiatrist after this. I don't want to have to run around like that again. Make sure your depression is cured properly."

"Yes. Would you give me a reward if I obediently go to the psychiatrist?"

"Reward? What do you mean?"

"Gosh… You're so dense, Suwa. Like uhh… bringing me out on a date… and…"

"He's thinking about perverted things, Suwa." said Hagita suddenly.

"WHAT? And why did you guys suddenly appear?" said Suwa.

"It was getting too interesting, so we couldn't resist it." said Takako.

"Didn't help that you were so dense." said Azusa.

"Well, it's a good thing for you guys, no?" said Naho.

"Kakeru!"

"Yes?"

"Your hand?"

"Okay."

Suwa held Kakeru's hand. "Let's go. I'll walk you back home."

"Why are you suddenly holding my hand?"

"It's your reward. For overcoming your suicidal thoughts today."

With howling and hysterical laughs from their friends, Suwa and Kakeru held hands for the first time, while their face becomes redder and redder.


	15. Extra - Hiroto

Suwa was in psychiatrist clinic. No, not to visit the psychiatrist, but to wait for Kakeru. Even since the February 15 incident (which is what they called Kakeru's attempt suicide), they managed to convince Kakeru to visit the psychiatrist to treat his depression.

Today, he was waiting for Kakeru as Kakeru visited the psychiatrist. Like a responsible boyfriend. Suwa chuckled at the thought. Well, he definitely wanted to be with Kakeru until he dies. That's why Kakeru's mental health is important to him.

He wondered if by the time done were much older, if Japan would have allowed gay marriages. Oh well, if not, they could just add each other names to the family registry. Which, speaking of, would mean that would call each other by…

"Hiroto. Guess who's here?" a voice said from the back and covered his eyes.

"Obviously you, Ka… Wait… what did you call me?" Suwa, or more accurately, Suwa Hiroto, was slightly surprised for someone other his family to call him by his first name.

"I'm calling my boyfriend by his first name, Hiroto."

…

"Stoppp it…" A blushing Suwa answered. The combination of being called by his first name and with Kakeru's voice so near to his ear was just too much for him.

* * *

"Hiroto, why does no one call you by your first name? Except for your family, of course." asked Kakeru.

"Well, now you do." Suwa answered.

"But, hmm, I was having my CBT with the psychiatrist, and I suddenly thought that none of us ever calls you by your first name."

"Now that you say that, it seems that is true. And it also seems that everyone calls you by your first name though."

"Well, now that I think about it, Naho, Hagita, Azusa, and Takako have at least one person that call them by their first name."

"Well, doesn't really matter now, since—Hiroto. I love you."

"Don't do that so close to my ear!" said a reddened Suwa.

"Hahaha. You're not honest, Hiroto." said Kakeru.

Suwa got even redder.

Kakeru wonders if saying his first name makes Suwa blush. So cute… It was to be expected since it was the person he likes, after all.

Hiroto. Thank you. Kakeru said in his heart.


End file.
